pieces of jocelyn

Wisdom for a Wednesday

2012-01-25T19:35:00.000-08:00

“I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.”

-Marjorie Pay Hinckley

I fell in love twice last night

2012-01-19T14:08:00.000-08:00

1. Phillip Phillips. Yeahhhh I still watch American Idol. It's a guilty pleasure. But THIS HOTTIE is way too good for Idol. He should have been signed the second he learned how to sing like that.

2. Garrett Hedlund. Wow. If he doesn't get your heart beatin' then I don't think you are human. I want to watch Country Strong so badly but I don't think it would be healthy. Honestly though.

solitary confinement, pillow pets and mickey mouse

2012-01-10T22:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I woke up with food poisoning or some other horrible disease (minor exaggeration) that thankfully only lasted 24 hours. I was quarantined to my room for majority of the day. But around 7pm I couldn't take it anymore and came upstairs away from my dark cave of sickness, Netflix overdosage and boredom. I found myself totally alone in my house. No one was home? Surprise, surprise. I flopped down on the rug next to my 20 year old hippie grandpa cat and lay there until someone came through the front door. My mom plopped groceries down on the counter took one look at me and this was the conversation that followed...

"Honey, how are you feeling?"
--- "lonely."
"Okay, but how are you feeling physically?"
---"lonely."

I find it strange and very unhealthy that I can't be away from people for too long without feeling emotional and sometimes if it is long enough physical effects. I remember watching some random documentary on Netflix (probably when I was sick and yet again banished by my mother from germing all the doorknobs and tv remotes...) about solitary confinement and how the people were showing signs of psychological distress after being in there for less than a half hour. I believe it...

One of my worst fears? Being alone. Betcha coulda guessed that one. Eh?

School started again... I missed 3 of my 4 classes from my "disease" and I am slowly feeling better. I am still exhausted but I don't think that is really anything new... We took a family trip to disneyland and that was fun. It was a surprise and my parents didn't tell us where we were going until we got outside of Vegas. We looked up and they were both wearing Mickey Mouse ears. It was pretty cute. I had a blast. We stayed in our condo in St. George and this video is what happens to my sister, Olivia, late at night... her voices start to come out. And this is her newest one... enjoy! I think I may start her own youtube channel.

J's Annual Holiday Funk= Currently in Recovery

2011-12-20T09:57:00.000-08:00

Now that finals are over, (can I get a HALLELUJAH!?) I have focused my thoughts on getting myself back into a steady stream of positive energy and good mojo. Finals always bring me down and make me feel lonely and I just become down-right hard on myself. So, as always-I fall back on music to uplift me. One of my favorite things about music is when the beautiful shapes and colors of the music makes being lonely feel beautiful, even if it is just for a moment. Do you know that feeling? Lately I have felt it listening to Bon Iver's amazing album that came out earlier this year, and as always Norah Jones, we all know that it is impossible to not feel loved deep down inside with her warming vocals. Another song on repeat is Winter Song by Sarah Bareilles and Ingrid. But my all time favorite is River by Joni Mitchell. I grew up on Joni and she is amazing, this is one of my favorite winter songs.

I always find myself in a strange nostalgic funk around the holidays, I am not sure what I am missing but the smell of my christmas tree and the taste of creamy egg nog always helps to cure me.

I love the Holidays. There is a certain love and spirit in the air, I don't know if it is Bing Crosby's voice ringing through my head, or the twinkling lights that light up the city. Whatever it is I look forward to it every year.

Christmas is for sharing. It is no fun to celebrate by yourself. So round up all your friends, and family and laugh together until you can't breathe, eat good food, pray for snow around the dinner table and count your many blessings. Serve others and keep in touch with those who be feeling a little scrooge-like. And give them a hug.

Happy Holidays, may they be filled with love, good cheer and good memories. (oh and of course... we can't forget the good food!)

IF YOU DO ONE THING TODAY, WATCH THIS.

2011-11-30T11:25:00.001-08:00

CLICK HERE.

FLASHBACK POST: november 10, 2009

2011-11-28T20:54:00.000-08:00

On my run tonight I was thinking about November jogs at night, it was strange because I was running on the same exact route around my neighborhood and I suddenly remembered writing this post back a few years ago. I came home, and found it and it is pretty much word for word how I am feeling these days...so I decided to dust it off and bring my words back to life, enjoy!

Ummm... outside of fun activities my life has actually been rather dreary lately. I got sick last week right in the middle of 3 huge exams. I've been feeling really nostalgic, it always happens this time of year, I'm not really sure why. I think it's the smell of the autumn leaves, and the way my ears ache after going for a crisp November jog. I haven't really been nostalgic for a specific period in my life. But maybe more nostalgic for the easy haze everything had over earlier in life. I'm not really sure how to explain it.

Like monday night, I was a mess so without even thinking I grabbed my running shoes and lept off my front porch, my legs and breathing took the emotional beating. My heart was sick of taking the punches, it was my body's turn in the ring. My heart present, it was still a contestant in my jog. The warm blood that kept me moving, beating, pulsed through and around my head, as my arms and legs cut through the darkness, I almost felt like I was playing chicken with the cars on the road. After all- they could barely see me. But my white sweatshirt stuck out to their guiding lights and they swayed to the other side of the asphalt.

My favorite part of running in the cold, is feeling the warm shot of blood, heat, and adrenaline run under my frigid goose-bumped skin. The thought that if you were standing there in the road, stationary... perhaps sticking your thumb out in the air- looking to get away- Looking for an escape, to go someplace alone, you would be freezing. Shaking in your running shoes. But if you are running away, the movement saves you. Running from it all gives you warmth, even if you ears burn with cold. Putting one foot in front of the other gives you strength to figure it all out. Even if by the time you reach your front door again, you feel more dizzy and nauseous than you did leaping off that porch in the first place. Hopefully while your body took the beating, your heart got to sit on the sidelines for a minute and rest from the horrible fight life throws at it.

Listen here, it's not what you think...

2011-11-22T10:33:00.000-08:00

1. It's not that I hate showering, I just hate how much time it takes me to get ready AFTER the shower.

2. It's not that I don't like skiing, I just can't afford it.

3. It's not that I don't want to hang out, it's just that I can be a total flake at times and watching a Leonardo DiCaprio movie by myself sounds more appealing.

4. It's not that I like spending the majority of my days in the library, it's just become a habit.

5. It's not that I have mono, I just feel tired all the time and possibly have a vitamin D deficiency.

6. It's not that I hate to work out, I just honestly don't have time between living at the library, sleeping (because I miss the sun), and working to make money so I can do things like ski. Plus, if I work out, I have to shower which brings us back to number one.

As of late- THIS little gem is on repeat non-stop.

MURMURATION?

2011-11-18T23:27:00.000-08:00

This is amazing. God must have had fun with this. Can you imagine witnessing this? WOW.

Whut up Ted Bundy

2011-11-04T17:47:00.000-07:00

I got so excited because in my blogger dashboard it said that this was my 200th post... but turns out that it is really my 174th. I forgot that I had like 30 drafts that I half started and never finished. Sad isn't it? I went through a lot of them and they weren't all that funny, mountain moving, or even slightly interesting. Which is probably the reason why I never published them on here from the beginning? Makes sense right?

I was a little relieved that I haven't gotten to 200 yet because that means that my 200th post would have to be epic I can't remember what I did for my 100th post... I probably blogged about something really stupid and random. My blog used to be so much better I think my creativity levels have significantly declined since I have been in my sciency major... which is a total shame. I will have to start painting or writing in my journal again. I wrote in my journal every single day for almost 4 years. I actually really miss it!

Song of the week: Flowers Bloom- High Highs

--HALLOWEEN--

Lately my life has been pretty busy, but it has been a blast! This is a picture at my party with me and my study buddies, Brooke (a very realistic OBGYN) and Sarah (a cute lil' punkin.) My halloween party was a success except for my friend's window was broken because some doofus was grinding up against it. Smart move, its GLASS you moron, not a skank! The best part was that it happened when "Get Low" was playing so I guess you could say that we really did get to the window, to the wall.

Halloween was a blast, as always!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM PIZZA, KETCHUP and SLOPPY JOE, SLOPPY, SLOPPY JOE.

Fly-fishing- "It's like yoga, but with fish!"

I learned how to fly-fish. Bryan requested an appearance in my blog so here is my shout out to him and his talented fisherman skillz. If you asked him he'd say I caught a fish. But I don't think I did. I half caught a fish. I had him but then he got away... I'll just have to pick it up as my new hobby, it is very relaxing. I loved it. My favorite part were the waders, he put a belt around my waist so if I fell in the river my waders wouldn't fill up and carry me down the river. It was a pretty cute fashion statement. I am so sad because he took a picture of me but it wouldn't load! I will have to try again later!

My friend Josh also requested an appearance in my log with a B. Josh loves creepy things and to get into the spirit of Halloween we got our crew together and told creepy stories, went on creepy adventures up the canyon to abandoned places in search of a few scares. We got what we came for! Man, we found a mummified cat in a creepy crawl space in a basement and goodness don't ask me why but we went to Ted Bundy's abandoned property up a canyon... we found a shed with stairs that led down into this really creepy room. Walking around his property in the dark I honestly thought I was going to pass out, that is how scared I was! All in all, it a very spooooooky and fun October.

Mumified cat? Yummm..

November, you better step it up because October was awesome and it has always been one of my favorite months!

NOTE: The holidays are for giving and performing service! So I am trying to make it a goal to do something service oriented every single week. Wether it is making cookies for someone who needs a lift, raking someone's leaves, collecting food for the food bank or simply helping a friend out when they need it the most (whether they know it or not.) Remember my post on service a while back? Click here to read it. I still think about that almost every day and I need another lift like that one in my life so I am getting at it!

Have a good weekend!

PS. Do yourself a favor and watch/ read this.

"Honey, dating is like a rubix cube..."

2011-10-26T00:13:00.000-07:00

At this moment dating is stressing me out a whole bunch. Just sayin'... My mom gives me really funny dating advice. I think she thinks that girls can just get away with anything in the dating world today. She doesn't seem to understand that things have SERIOUSLY changed. And to be honest I think that dating back in the day was a whole lot more efficient and just easier... now we have the crazy technology to
1. FB stalk our ex-boyfriends and see who they are dating, this in turn can lead to jealous rage which is a danger to our health and sanity as well as all those around us.

2. We can also use the book of face to stalk our blind date (sometime this can prove helpful when someone you don't particularly trust says, "Oh... Jocelyn, my nephew would love to get out there and go on some dates, can I set you up with him? He is a cutie!" THIS is a recipe for disaster. We all know this... and thanks to Facebook we can avoid some tragic dates.

3. TEXTING. I am a huge texter when it comes to dating I love the little random texts, picture messages, and the inside jokes that form throughout the day... it is fun! BUT what I don't love is the lack of A.) a sarcasm font, I have been in many awkward situations with potential suitors and you, since don't know their sense of humor all that well yet, fail to catch the sarcasm and make a total ass out of yourself. B.) The goodnight text. I hate this... I feel like I have to send one? Do I? Really, you know the bed bugs aren't going to bite me, but thanks for the thought...You're a sweet one. C.) The stupid texting games... these include: Not knowing whether or not to send a text after a good first date, Not texting to much for fear of appearing too clingy, and PUNCTUATION. This is a huge one. there is a huge difference between these 3 sentences which one sounds a.) happy b.)annoyed/man c.) indecisive

yeah whatever it doesnt matter!

yeah, whatever it doesn't matter...

yeah whatever it doesn't matter.

this is an easy call. And if you don't know then you are the cause of the miscommunication between relationships and texting... bah. Fix it.

*also this doesn't really have a category but it falls into the category of voicemails and LACK OF voicemails. if you are going to call me, leave a voicemail. Nbd, just do it.

So.... sorry about that huge tangent. Lets backtrack to my mom and her old skool dating rules....

Wouldn't dating be so much easier without facebook, without texting, without all the cheese and inpersonal communication? I just want a good old fashion phone call and no ifs ands or buts about it. None of this "hanging out" stuff, lets just go on a date. My mom said this is how dating went back in her day...

"Oh yeah... I mean Bob would call and invite me to go to the cabin with his family, so I would go to that and then Dennis would call me the next weekend and I'd go out with him, maybe we'd kiss? Who knows, and then the next week I'd play tennis with Bob, or maybe Dale would invite me to his family christmas party...see now why can't you just do that?"

umm yeah mom, you can't really do this anymore... Regina George didn't even have that many different boy-toys in a two week period... You would be considered a total a player, heartbreaker, home-wrecker...wench? The Snookie of the playground?...you name it.

Yet my mother continues to tell me to, "keep adding in more boys to the equation" Like that is going to make things LESS complicated.. she told me just the other day, "Honey, dating is like a rubix cube! Every guy that you date gives you a different square, maybe its the wrong color, maybe its the right one, but one day you'll date a guy and all the colors will line up, and it will just WORK." I have no idea where she gets these analogies from and let me tell you there are more where that came from. I tried to whip out my phone and record it but she was interrupted by something much more important than rubix cubes and my correct square combo of a man... (which right now, is looking to be mighty difficult to find.) Next time I will have my phone ready to record her advice... get excited.

The point is- dating is really hard. So... if you find a good one who treats you well, who laughs at your jokes, likes your same music, cares about you, and has a smile that makes you weak in the knees, keep him.

Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger, Steve Jobs and Brinner.

2011-10-18T11:54:00.000-07:00

Okay... So this last week was fall break and my goodness it was amazing to just relax and not have to worry about school. I didn't open my notes, next book or pick up one flash card all week and it was exactly what I needed. I think saying that I was burned out was the understatement of the year. I was as burned out as a red head in the desert. I studied more than I have ever studied in my life and even though it was exhausting, I am not going to lie it felt good to get good grades on these huge tests... Last semester killed my confidence. Especially when my beast of a teacher told me that even if I got 100% on the final I would still only get a C- in the class. At that point I about gave up, I was going through a very stressful and difficult breakup and lemme tell ya, school was not my first priority. To be honest I am not sure what my first priority was, I think it was figuring out who I am and what I want out of life. London gave me that and so much more. And so right now, school is about as close to number one as I can allow it to be. I mean it is school after all, a girl's gotta have a little fun, right?

The library is my second home as Brooke and Sarah both know, I see them more than I see my family, or even my cozy bed, which by the way, since it is beginning to get darker outside, I have not been able to get out of. I hit the snooze button at least 5 times every morning and then contemplate sleeping through class, BUT then I remember that school is at the top of my priorities right now. So I mosey on out of bed and head to campus.

I am not a morning person. If you know me, you know this. Breakfast is my least favorite meal, but I love brinner. You can make me breakfast for dinner any day. Keep that in mind if you want to win my heart.

Speaking of breakfast, am I the only one who wants to write iHOP like this? Look what Steve Jobs has done to the world, (RIP, btw) I mean its a international house of pancakes not a pogo stick, why does my mind want to type it like that? Who knows?

My friend was having problems with his iPhone last week and he said, "Man my iPhone is being so slow right now... but hey I guess if my dad died, I'd need a few days off to recoup. I better cut him some slack, he's trying his best to cope..." I just about died laughing.

Can we all agree that Apple rocks and Steve will be missed?

Before I hit the road let me leave you with 2 things, #1: I am stoked for Halloween but I am trying to find a DJ for my Halloween party still... the one I had in mind was unfortunately already booked. I would never be an event coordinator you could not pay me. It is hard work! And man, you really need to have connections. Also, get excited for halloween guess what I am being? Here is a hint: JR BACON CHEESEBURGER. That's right folks, I am being Wendy from Wendy's. I am trying to get my friend to be a french fry haha. I dunno how we would do that but it would be hilarious.

And the second thing I want to leave you with is my new favorite band... THE HEAD AND THE HEART. They are amazing. Just listen to this...What do you think? Whatcha guys doing for Halloween? It is my favorite holiday and if I could I would fly you all to SLC to come to my annual halloween party!

I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask, "Mother, what was war?" - Eve Merriam

2011-09-30T14:43:00.000-07:00

I love documentries. I am not quite sure why, or how I got to be this way, but I remember that before I got swamped with school, I found myself sitting at home watching a WWII documentry. My sister came in and said, "why are you watching this?...This is like something I watch in my history classes and everyone just falls asleep..." I rebuttled by laughing and saying, "I am a geek okay? Get over it." I waited for her footsteps to lead away from my nerdiness, but after a few minutes she was still standing behind the couch, and just like me, she was drawn into the passionatly violent and gut-wrenching war stories. She took as seat next to me on the couch as she said, Gosh...I didn't even know this battle happened, thats crazy."

We watched survivors of all shapes, sizes and colors talk about their experiences and struggles through the war. A young 18 year-old from Louisiana recalling his experiences as a fighter pilot. A wrinkled man with tears of fear still in his eyes shared his story... a heartbroken lover who left his soulmate back in the states to fight for our country. And then there were the stories that really got to me... the african american soldiers who sacrificed their lives for our country. One of these men said, "we were fighting for freedom in a country we weren't even free in." I had never thought of that before... he continued to say, "We were fighting against discrimination of people, when we were being segregated in our own contry...But we did it. We did it becuase the United States was our country...so we fought."

A few months ago I came across this NPR StoryCorps and it made me just cringe... Newly married couple Max and Kim Voelz served together in Iraq in the same Explosive Ordnance Disposal unit — that's the Army's elite bomb squad.

After his wife was sent out to defuse a bomb that HE called in, she was killed by the detonation. "You know, she did something that most people weren't willing to do, and I don't want people to think that because she was killed while she was working that she was bad at her job, or that she died because she was a girl," Max says. "She did the same job that guys who think they're tough do. And she did it just as good as I did, and I think I'm the best that there is."
When the Voelzes got married they had plans to retire from the Army. Now, at 36, Max says he doesn't have a plan. After Kim died on Dec. 13, 2003, Max was sent home. He stayed in the Army for a few more years.
BUT this is the part that really got to me... "I am an Army widower. I don't think there's very many of us," he says. "And when I receive a condolence letter from a high-ranking government official that says, 'MRS. Voelz, we're sorry for the loss of your husband,' it just makes it seem like nobody knows we exist."

Watching this documentary and listening to stories like Max's gave me a renewed respect for all those who serve in war, and who have fought in these heart-wrenching battles. I went to the Imperial War Museum when I was in London and there was a section of it where they simulated what it would have been like to be in the trenches of war... and let me tell you, it was eerie I could picture it perfectly. The smell of gunpowder, the darkness and dampness, the solidarity and missing of home was just present all around us. I walked through the trenches picturing wounded soldiers writing letter home by candlelight. It was pretty powerful and I left with a deep appreciation for those who have served our country and freedom in the past, and a deep love and respect for those serving our country right now. Keep these men and women in your prayers, they are fighting for US.

We can't overlook the tiny miracles that are happening every single day we are in war. People are saved, children are left unharmed, POW's are let go, and the soldiers are given things to smile and celebrate about.

Look how adorable this is...A small puppy wandered up to U.S. Marines from Alpha Company, 1st Battalion 6th Marines, in Marjah, Afghanistan. After following the Marines numerous miles, a soft hearted Marine picked the puppy up and carried the puppy in his drop pouch... adorable.

Thanks for reading! I promise that my next post won't be nearly as heavy as this one!

:)

perfect jam for autumn.

2011-09-20T10:11:00.000-07:00

love you all my little bloggers. I know I am totally slackin, but it's midterms. I will return with an epic post in 2 weeks! I promise :)

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life...

2011-08-30T18:58:00.000-07:00

Frolicking in Ambleside, England. The hills are alive.

wow... man it has been a while hasn't it? My goal going into London was to make epic blog posts and I failed miserably. Don't you dare shake your head at me! I will do my best to give you a few of the highlights...

London was amazing. Of course there were the moments of pure exhaustion because we were going non-stop for 7 weeks. We went to bed late every night and got up around 7 every day. I like to say that we were up late studying, but most of the time we were having deep discussions, eating chocolate, writing in our journals and swapping music. I loved it. It was often times just a big laptop or skyping party.

London Laptop Party

We toured so many places and often times there would be a audioguide or something but I made it a goal to try and have a good understanding of every place we went to so that I wouldn't take anything for granted. I would read all the plaques and in a few places I was the only one in my group to get the audio tour and everyone made fun of me, Moriah called me Nancy Drew.

My other nicknames there were: SLYNN- which is short for Jocelyn. JUICE- someone was saying my name in all these weird accents and it sounded like they said "Juice" so that one stuck. And the most popular one was GRANDMA because I brought a clothesline to dry all my clothes and I would always have tissues and hand sanitizer in my purse. And because I often say things like, "Criminey Jane" and "Holy Moses".

In front of the Edinburgh Castle

This is one of my favorite pictures from the whole study abroad. Don't we look like we belong on a sitcom? They had these awesome capes that you could wear all over the court it was pretty cool, I felt like I was in Hogwarts!

Man it was so much fun. There were things that I missed about home and people that I wish could have seen some of these places and been there to experience everything with me. It was difficult to miss a few things, especially one of my best friend's wedding. It was sad that I couldn't be there I heard that she was beautiful and from the pictures,that statement is nothing short of the truth.

Some of the amazing places I ventured to... Scotland, Italy, England, France

I saw the most amazing architecture and art in history... unfortunately blogger hates me when it comes up uploading pictures so I will try and post more later. Enjoy!

Sainte Chapelle, France- it is one of the most famous works of stained glass in the world, I was blown away... every single wall is covered from floor to ceiling in glorious stained glass.

Notre Dame Cathedral, France.

and of course

the Eiffel Tower, and here is a little secret... I kissed someone on top of it. Yes he was a random British guy. "so uh... it has always been on my bucket list to kiss someone on top of the Eiffel Tower. You going to step up to the plate?..."

While we are on the topic of British boys... when I was in London this guy randomly swooped me up and gave me a huge hug. It looks like we are in love doesn't it? The truth is that I was horrified if only you could see my face in this picture! His name was Jacapo. Yes. Jacapo. Luckily Jordan had her camera in hand. Oh man, this picture still cracks me up.

Oxford, England. How quaint and perfect is this?

miles and miles of amazing macaroons...

and the most beautiful cookies and gelato. Not to mention they were delicious. In Rome I ate 4 gelatos in 3 hours.

We had to climb like a 186,785,432 stairs to get to the top of cathedrals, towers and just to get to our bedroom haha. We walked everywhere I am in pretty good shape now!

...ITALY....

Sunset in florence on one side of the bridge, and on the other side of the bridge, was THIS... pretty sure it doesn't get much better.

Cinque Terre- one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen.

Pretty sure we were the only people wearing one-piece suits! Italian beaches are interesting.... see below... YEAH. This is a woman. Jordan has very good skills when it comes to snapping subtle pictures.

On our way home, yes we were cheesy enough to have matching shirts get over it ;)

some of my favorite things

-Going to church in London. I learned a lot about my testimony and the willingness and dedication of members in the church outside of Utah. It was beautiful and It made me grateful to live so close to the temple, and to have several churches within walking distance of my house. I felt like a missionary and there was a moment when I was holding my teaching manual and a man sitting next to me said, "did you girls just come from church? So did I!" I replied yes, "We are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, what church do you go to?" "I go to New Christ's church, but eh, it's all the same god anyway, that's what I always like to say..." It made me smile and he is right, it is the same god isn't it and he loves us just the same.

Our sweet little kids in the crystal palace ward

-Feeling like a local. Playing soccer in Hyde park with everyone, I loved feeling like a local and the best part about this trip was that it wasn't a vacation, I was living there, I had time to walk around the city leisurely, go shopping, give directions to tourists, dress up and see plays, run through the streets in the pouring rain. Once I ate dinner by myself in a quaint little restaurant while I read the newspaper. It was amazing and I would normally be too self-conscious to do that but I felt great. Independent and free.

Florence, Italy

Hittin' the club in London for my 21st birthday, it turned out to be Brazillian night, we bribed the DJ to play some hip-hop just for my birthday

-One of the things I miss about London is having a little family. If you needed someone to curl your hair or give you advice about your outfit you had 14 other roommates there to help you. It was fun. There were 40 students total, 35 girls and 5 boys. We also lived in the house with 3 professors and their families, as well as the 2 house keepers who cooked and kept the London Center running smoothly. It was amazing that we all fit in that house together, it doesn't look that big from the outside but man it was huge! We had 60 people living there! It was just like living in a house with one huge family. We would take the professors kids to the park and they would play soccer with us, we would look out for one another and we became so close. Laying in hostels late at night secrets and emotions just come pouring out and I had some very deep conversations and told my london family things that I have never told anyone before. They really are my brothers and sisters.

BYU London Center, my second home...

Jordan, Me, Johnna, Tahnee at Hampton Court

I miss it every single day. I miss all the people. I even thought about transfering for a few minutes but like I said, that only lasted a few minutes. It is BYU. But I have gained a better respect for that school and the people there. I love them and they are my buddies, I wish I lived closer to provo so I could see them more. Umm... I got back on the 17th of august, people keep asking me what my favorite place was, but I can't pick just one thing it was all so great... I loved just traveling around england it was just so quaint and perfect. I also loved Scotland, I really can't pick. My favorite place we went was probably Boscastle, England. It was our last weekend of the study abroad and we stayed at this adorable little bed and breakfast on the coast of the Irish sea. We walked along the coast and it was seriously amazing. One of my favorite places for sure. We walked out to this big rock at night and jumped off into the water and it was so cold but SO much fun. We had a little moment where we all hugged for a long time and looked out over the ocean. We started crying and walked down the hill talking about all the amazing things we have learned about ourselves and about the amazing places we have seen. I really do think that I was in the right place and that that trip was exactly what I needed to get over the stress of school and last semester. I really discovered who I am. I feel like I changed a lot, for the better.

It really is all about who you are with, not where you are that determines the experience and I couldn't have been blessed with a better group. We laughed til our stomachs hurt, played soccer in Hyde park, got gelato and kababs, saw musicals, wandered the streets, hiked the green lush hills, and loved every minute of it.

this experience only made my thirst for adventure and knowledge stronger. I can't wait to begin my next escapade...who wants to come!?

CHURCH

2011-06-27T03:48:00.001-07:00

We went to our LDS church assignments sunday, we were divided into 6 different churches and our ward is called the Crystal Palace Ward. Ali googled about it on saturday night to try and find better directions but she found a blog from a girl that was assigned to that ward just a few years ago, she said that it took them 3 hours to get there and they almost missed the entire meeting... SO we were well aware that it was difficult to find. I think that we are going to write instructions for the nest group. People from previous years write things all over the bottom of the bunk beds, it is really fun to read the advice people have left. Names of gelato shops, the best times to go to markets, and simple notes like, "You're in LONDON, get off Facebook, get off your butt, and get out the door."

But anyway, our ward was amazing! It took us 7 hours to get there, go to church, and make our way back. Plus we were 45 minutes late to sacrament meeting because we missed our train and then when we finally did get on the right train two of the girls got off, and right as the rest of us were getting off the doors shut and we couldn't get off in time. Hannah's face when the train pulled away was hilarious. I literally thought she was going to run after the train and grab hold of the side rail! After the morning we had endured with the wrong train station, missing our train and 3 tube transfers, we were sure that nothing else bad could happen. Well, we were wrong... we were laughing so hard we were in tears! Some nice locals told us we could walk back and to the last station and it would only take 10 minutes. I felt bad because Aubrey was in heels... yikes.

But by the end of the day we were starving. We left our house and 8:15am right after a light breakfast so our fast sundays are going to be torture so I think we will have to bring food with us and break the fast on the train. Our ward has about 60 or 70 people in it and most of them are black they are the kindest people I have ever met. I am so excited to get to know them better. I was honestly blown away by the spirit, within the ward. It was amazing! I was pretty much on the verge of tears the entire time.

I was really embarrassed because at our devotional last night the John, (the writing professor) said that he was going to give a chocolate bar to the person who could name every single person in the room. Keep in mind that there are 40 people in our group... so I stood up and I succeeded. BUT I was so concentrated on nailing the names of the people I don't know as well... that I TOTALLY SPACED the names of all my roommates and the girls I am friends with the best... I was mortified... It took me a minute but all the names finally came to me. Pretty sure my face has never been that red before. It was bad.

Today we start classes and I will keep you updated I promise! AND pictures are soon to come. I posted some on Facebook so check those ones out!

woke up in london yesterday

2011-06-24T10:19:00.000-07:00

(I WROTE MOST OF THIS LAST NIGHT) This jetlag is nuts! I hardly slept on the plane and with the time change, I feel like I'm dying haha it's like 4am here and I'm wide awake because we went to bed at like 9pm! Everyone else is asleep but I'm just chilling. Today we are going to buckingham and Westminster Abby. Me and this other girl Ali want to go to church there one Sunday but since we are getting our church callings tonight, I dunno if we could ever miss church and just not go to our assigned wards? We will have to ask because that would be crazy!

On the flight over here to london, we could see the northern lights it was green and super cool!

I feel bad because a bunch of girls have been sick throwing up and stuff, so everyone has their fingers crossed that it's not the stomach flu because one of the kids she babysits had done gross 24 thing. But she got a blessing last night, so I hope that she feels better.

I think I might do a 5k in Hyde park it's coming up soon. A few of the girls are trying to convince me to do a half marathon, even if I walked a ton of it will still be cool to say that I did a half in London! Plus Hyde park is gorgeous! Its so weird like everyone is so healthy here! (besides smoking cigs all day) I've never seen so many joggers in one place before it's crazy! They are probably all training for the half that's coming up!

It's weird because there aren't any overweight people here or homeless people! Maybe it has to do with the free health care? Who knows!

Funny story...Katie, Natalie, Bree, Maddy and i walked around Hyde Park and Kensington Gardens and I was looking at the gorgeous trees and people watching when I hear this startling noise so I look up and this biker had slammed on his breaks to prevent running into me and gravel went flying everywhere!
I jumped SO high and instinctually grabbed onto Maddy's jacket. The biker whized past and under his breath in a thick accent said, "wake up, eh!?" we were laughing so hard and then saw a sign with rules of the park on it and pedestrians have the right of way! So HAH!

I could only think of the scenes on "Finding Neverland" where Johnny Depp meets those kids at the park! The buildings are amazing! There is so much history!

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Today we went to Westminster Abby and Trafalgar Square we climbed on top of a huge brass lion and took a picture. I am lovin' London! I will try to post some pictures later! We stopped and got these really yummy bacon, cheese and tomato croissants. SO good. We watched the changing of the guards at the palace, my goodness what a process! I can't even imagine what it would have been like to be at the Royal Wedding... my goodness.

The food here at the London Center is horrible, I am like always hungry... but I don't want to spend all my money on food! We eat dinner at 5:30pm so by the time 7 hits we are all hungry again. Good thing we live right around the corner from a gelato shop! It started raining on us and I am so glad that I brought a raincoat and have an umbrella! I felt like a local, wandering around in the rain it was fun. I am still trying to get used to the coins and how to use money and everything. But it will get easier eventually. I seriously can't even believe that I am here. it's such a dream... I can't wait until I feel totally submerged in the culture, but its hard to pinpoint what the culture is because London is SUCH a melting pot! I think tomorrow we are going to Wimbledon, and we want to see Les Miserables, I am really excited because I hear that the shows are amazing! Also, Ian and I have both been craving Indian food and we found a really cute little indian place pretty close to Hyde park so we are going to hit that up. I am drooling thinking about food right now.... I am so hungry.

Well... I am off to bed. Its late! Its a little after midnight and we have to get up early but I will post again soon! Sunday we go to our wards and there are 6 of us going to our branch called Crystal Castle. It should be really interesting, we find out what our calling will be when we get there. A bunch of people have already been assigned to give talks, and are sunday school teachers. Its pretty crazy!

I hope that I get a good calling, it will be an amazing way to strengthen my testimony in the church and in myself, as well.

Goodnight!

the four dollars that taught me a million dollar lesson

2011-06-07T22:47:00.000-07:00

I have been meaning to blog about this for over a week. But the only time that I can ever find spare time is when I have down time at work... and I am never really in the writing mood when I am sitting in an uncomfortable chair, in a bland cubicle.

See THIS is much much better... sitting in my cozy bed, a peach pie candle burning, christmas lights strung around me, flowin' tunes medicate my whole body and soul all the way down to my orange toe nails. THIS is where I can get in the mood to write. Home.

Now... let me get on to the reason behind this post. It seems cliche to some, but for me it is a lesson that hit me hard this past week.

SERVICE.... but first little sshppeeeeeel on the outdoors and running..

Last Tuesday I was in a good mood, I had been having a good day. I went running in the park, I people-watched as I stretched out after, and loved feeling the sun on my face and the wind against my skin. After I had stretched and cooled down, endorphins still surging through me, I got in my car. It was then that I experienced something that I haven't felt in a long time. I shut the door and my head started spinning and I was taken back by how confining my little car had become, after being surrounded by the air, the sun and the sound of my own feet hitting the pavement, I literally felt claustrophobic just by being in my car. It was crazy. I had to roll down the windows and stick my face outside, gulping in the sunshine in order to breathe. It made me realize that I need to get out more, I spend way too much time NOT in the open. I can't wait to get outside as much as I can, now that the weather is looking up!

After my run, I went to Wal-mart to pick up a few things.

Checking out in front of me is an elderly man in a motorized scooter cart, I didn't see what he was buying but the total came to around $17. I watched as he tried to stand and balance himself so he could get his wallet from his pocket. It was painful to watch as the cashier impatiently tapped his foot, we all stood watching this man hold up his wad of cash, his shaking hands fumbled through to find the correct bills. I was about to intervene and help him, when he gave up and handed the cashier all his cash.

I looked down at my running shoes, and wiped my still sweaty forehead on my t-shirt. I thought about where this little old man was headed. I wondering how he even got here, since he could hardly stand. Not knowing what this man's circumstances were, I forced myself to have an optimistic visual in my mind of his cute little pink haired wife...Sitting at the kitchen table with a ring on to match the one he has wrapped around his age spotted finger. I did it for myself. It made me feel better to think he had someone waiting for him at home.

It was then that I heard the cashier say, " sir, you're going to need to put one item bac-" before I could even think, the words, how much is he short? jumped out of my throat. The cashier, a little taken back by how quickly I responded, said, "he needs four more dollars." I opened my wallet and realized that I hadn't even thought about what I would do if I didn't have cash. This is where the miracle comes in... I never have cash on hand. I really do think that god put me in this man's path for a reason because by some strange coincidence, I had exactly four dollars cash in my my wallet. I give it to the cashier, who smiles at me.

Confused by the quick exchange, the old man looks at me and says, "oh...my...! I must pay you back." "No, Sir, don't worry about it, you're fine!" I say with a smile, as I take the change from the cashier. I step back to my place in line, and the old man turns around in his seat again to thank me. This time he reaches out for me. I instinctively grab hold of his arthritis stricken hand. His paper thin skin is warm and I am filled with such compassion that I feel like doing something more for him, anything. He holds my hand tight and says, "you're an angel, thank you. Thank you."

I watch him leave, pay for my few items, walk to my car, and drive home, all the way I couldn't stop smiling. I know that whoever this man is, he must have lead a beautiful life because he is being looked after, I tell you that. I like to think it was his cute pink haired wife up in heaven :)

Even now, typing this, I smile thinking of this sweet man and the $4 that to me, were seemingly insignificant. Those few dollars reminded me of the important things in life. Serving others. I don't think we need to work on not wanting to serve, because I think as humans, most of us all want to help others for good. But the lesson I took away from this is always be in a position to serve. Be in the mindset to help those around you.

I PROMISE if you do something good for someone around you this week, especially a stranger, you will feel something more significant and powerful than even the recipient will feel. Why? I don't know. That's just the way god made us. He did it so we will continue to help each other out.

Get out there and do it. Post your results, or email me! I'd love to hear about it :)

goodbyes

2011-05-25T12:46:00.000-07:00

I am the worst at goodbyes. After being in a long distance relationship for over a year I got accustomed to it, but it never got easier, if anything it almost got harder. But from saying goodbye I have learned lot about enjoying the now. Taking in every moment.

Even still, its not the goodbyes that hurt, its the flashbacks that follow them.

“Never say goodbye, because goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting.”

-Peter Pan

dimples and gingers.

2011-05-16T17:37:00.000-07:00

Before I begin, I have to give my talented little sis some credit for creating this beautiful set on polyvore for my blog. She is amazing, and it turned out great. Thanks soph!

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As I kid I always wanted to have red hair and dimples. Even now, I do.

I grew up watching and reading Anne of Green Gables. (Shout out to my Avonlea aficionados!)

Anne has:
green eyes, fire red hair, freckles and in my mind she definitely had dimples.

I have:

dirty blond hair, blue eyes, and light skin, no freckles or dimples.

Needless to say, I was a little jealous of Anne when I was little. And if you predicted that I was obsessed with the young Lindsay Lohan when she came out in the beyond adorable Parent Trap you would be correct. Too bad this sweet girl, turned out to be such a raunch-face loser... but at the time I looked up to her a lot... and not just becuase she had red hair, although that was a part of it ;)

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Perhaps it was because I have always loved my mothers ginger-ness. While she read, or watched the news, I would sit on the top of the couch cushions and brush her hair. I would weave bows into its beautiful red color and kiss her freckled face.

Isn't my mother gorgeous? Gotta love the 80's!

It wasn't until I had the independence to dye my hair that I tried it out. I came home from the salon and was afraid of what my family would say, because if any of you have ever put red into your hair, you know that it is very, very radiant and bright at first, but it fades a lot over time.

I was especially nervous for what my mom would say, I walked it and she said, "Why did you go red?! Why would anyone want their hair to be red? Its a curse." It is not a curse! It's beautiful and it is a dying breed. Pretty soon there won't be any left!

Right now count how many NATURAL gingers/fire-crotches/red heads you know...when you comment tell me how many you came up with... I count around 10. That's not a lot. I am telling you they are dying out. Its sad!

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Something else you may, or may not know about me is that I LOVE dimples. If I guy has dimples, I am pretty much sold. ESPECIALLY if you mix dimples and scruff. That's just just deadly.

I mean really, how can you look at these pictures and not smile?

Babies are already irresistibly cute. Add the dimples and I loose my mind.

And they only get cuter with age... (I don't know any of these kids) I promise this is not THAT creepy. I just looked up "kids with dimples" on google haha

Not to mention the rich and famous. Check out Ben and Jennifer's daughter Violet. Can you say adorable? Looks like she takes after her mom.

Do we have any "Lost" or "Grey's Anatomy" fans? This is why I watch.... mostly.

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Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed! I am going to try and be better at blogging this summer! Hope you all had a good weekend! Do anything fun?

Currently Listening to: Welcome Home, Son by Radical Face (its a good one check it out)

my latest study tune.

2011-04-25T10:19:00.000-07:00

I think I listened to this 60 times while writing my paper. It's just so beautiful.... I can't get enough of his voice and tone. AND.. of course the banjo :)

I think you should all road trip to SF, Utah next year...

2011-04-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

THIS IS WORTH IT. PS. I am in process of figuring out how to adjust the width of my blog, so sorry the video is cut off. Double click on it so you can watch it fullscreen. ITS WORTH IT.

Currently-

2011-04-12T14:34:00.000-07:00

Things I am currently loving:

my bed- I don't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Jergen's Natural Glow Daily Moisturizer- Fake my tan? Why yes, I don't mind if I do!

VEGAS AND MUMFORD- can't wait for a little outing this is just what I need. Not to mention that mumford & sons is epic, and I have been wanting to see them since last march, I can't believe they are so close! I NEED TO GET AWAY. I can't wait. AND it is going to be 90 degrees on saturday. I don't mind if I do!

Friday Night Lights- Jaimie got me hooked, it is such a good show. Gotta love netflix.

8track.com- i get bored when I study, it's nice to have a little music in the background just to relax and get in the mood, it makes studying more enjoyable if I can listen to music. If the tunes I listen to while cramming have lyrics, I find myself writing down lyrics instead of the thoughts being processed consciously. SO, I like to stick to soundtracks or ambient tunes, it seems to help me focus. Check out the mix that I linked (above) and let me know what y

ou think!

this video- I bawl my head off everytime I watch it.

my sisters- Your siblings are the longest relationships in your life. They are your first best friends, you are their first confidants, the ones who you bond with over tears and breakups. Your relationship with them came before your husband or wife, and will outlive the relationship you have with your parents. It's amazing if you think about it.

my religion- today my grandpa passed away, I can't even express to you how comforting it is to think of him being reunited with my grandma after being apart for 30 years. It's beautiful.

things could be worse.

2011-03-30T10:19:00.000-07:00

"Things could be worse, right? I have two arms, two legs and a roof over my head. I'm lucky to have the opportunity to receive an education." - What I tell myself every morning.

Listen-I'm not a quitter, I would not like to be one. I like to succeed and prove that I can do things just like every other person. But I don't see how I am supposed to get through 9 more classes in this major.

I just don't.

But just like my mom pointed out a few weeks ago:

"Promise me you will always remember that you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

- Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh

IF THE WORLD WAS PERFECT: no one would be alone.

2011-03-26T18:00:00.000-07:00

If the world was perfect- whenever we were lonely our brains would send out a signal and all the lonely people could just hang out together and have a nice saturday night.

If the world was perfect- there wouldn't be need for a blog post like this.

Vote for my friends band! They are almost famous!

2011-03-24T13:00:00.000-07:00

Take two seconds and click HERE rate them 5 stars! They are amazing. They are currently in second place, if they get first place they could be on the over of rolling stone! VOTE VOTE VOTE :) AND they are giving away free music as a thank you for voting ;)

japan

2011-03-17T09:45:00.000-07:00

In the midst of such a horrible time for Japan, artists all around the world came together to make these relief posters, I thought I would share a few.

ALSO- I heard a story about a 4-month of little girl who was pulled from the rubble, her resuce has fueled search and relief parties, it's nothing short of a miracle. Please read this baby's story. Amazing. http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/03/15/miracles-in-japan-four-month-old-baby-70-year-old-woman-found-alive/

It's not easy to see the miracles that lie within the tragedy, especially when they seem to come one after another, quake, tsunami, and now this horrible nuclear power problem which is just adding to the giant economic crisis. But they are there, I just came across yet another article about a 2-month old baby who was found in a storm drain. God's hand is in this for the good, and I know the japanese people will be blessed and healed.

Donate money to the redcross, and keep the japanese people in your heart, thoughts, and prayers.

"I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you"- john 14:18

From the Book of Mormon:

"...as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another's burdens, that they may be light;

Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life--" Mosiah 18:8-9

on repeat this week?

2011-03-14T20:21:00.000-07:00

ADELE.

she is beautiful and I can't stop listening to her new album "21." I am really sad because her concert in SLC is sold out... plus even if it wasn't i wouldn't be able to go because I am not 21. IRONIC right, since her album is called "21". Oh how she teases me.

wish i'd had a camera or been flying in the sky.

2011-03-01T19:40:00.000-08:00

Peach and pink both parade across the clouds. The snow peaked mountains look as though the sky had bowed and serenely asked them to dance. Blush with embarrassment, their snow capped peaks and valleys turn pink with a rose-lit glow.

Aeroplanes fly in and out of this dance, enjoying it from high above the city lights, which admist the approaching darkness, begin to switch on.

The blushing mountains and the blinking bulbs illuminate the salty city below.

-march 1st 2011

I want to be a carefree kid again.

2011-02-27T17:00:00.000-08:00

2011-02-19T17:59:00.001-08:00

music should go right through you, leave some of itself inside you, and take some of it with you when it leaves

a love story

2011-02-02T22:04:00.000-08:00

I was watching American Idol a few nights ago and I saw this. I am known for crying during reality TV. Especially the Biggest Loser. But this is probably one of the most heart-wrenching love stories I have ever heard. I had to share it. Sorry for the bad quality of the video, but believe me it's worth watching.

Here is a beautifully awkward little video that I love.

2011-01-23T16:27:00.000-08:00

After each experience, you grow up, you get enriched with something, and you don’t know how you’re going to be in six months, you don’t know what you’re going to want, what you’re going to need.
-Audrey Tautou

tomorrow will be brighter

2011-01-10T10:34:00.000-08:00

I had a pretty big panic attack and meltdown yesterday. It was a very emotional day, but in the midst of my emotional chaos, my mom took me to the refrigerator and pointed to this quote, which is taped on the door... this is why I love my mom. AND Winnie the Pooh :)

"Promise me you will always remember that you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

- Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh

the odds are we'll be better off.

2011-01-06T08:37:00.000-08:00

Love is definitely a two edged sword. It hurts like hell when it cuts you. Or somehow- worse, if you cut someone else. Deep through to the heart.

I'm sorry, N.
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I had no idea my 13 year old sister could do this... future graphic designer? I think so!

2011-01-02T17:59:00.000-08:00

Until the heart explodes.( who will reign supreme season 5 auditions) by

I went walking...

2010-12-29T14:19:00.000-08:00

JUST A FEW RANDOM THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY.....

I hope that everyone had a fabulous christmas.

I want it to snow. It was sad not having a white christmas.

I love my new gel mattress top. SO comfortable. I just may never leave my bed.

I have been so lazy today, I love it.

I just may go do some yoga to make up for being so lazy...

Nate gave me a massage giftcard for a really nice aromatherapy massage with a pedicure. WHAT A GUY.

I love finding new music.

"The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be." — Marcel Pagnol

bomb

2010-12-14T23:56:00.000-08:00

people say "dude... I just bombed that final."

YEAH

RIGHT.

chances are, they walk away feeling okay about it and get a A- in the class.

I just bombed a final. ACTUALLY.

I studied for countless hours. I was literally dreaming about floating z-scores and standard deviants.

I have always been awful at taking tests.

Our professor gave us the answer sheet as we walked out the door. I think I got 4 of the 10 problems right... maybe. MAYBE.

It took every ounce of strength in my body to not cry while trying over and over again to get some of the solutions to match up... yeah, on most of them, it didn't happen.

My brain was not meant to do math. I am okay with that. I just wish it wasn't required in college.

After I bombed it, Nate was waiting outside to see how it went. I burst into tears. He gave me a huge hug and took me to get sushi. What a sweetheart.

Doesn't sushi just make everything better?

can't stop jammin to this!

2010-12-13T00:03:00.001-08:00

It makes me cry.

silence

2010-11-28T21:20:00.001-08:00

The silence of snow. It makes for a quiet mind. Everything seems to be in slow motion when it snows. The soft flakes land softly on cars and rooftops.

tree limbs are weighed down with winter's white frosting-

the branches creak and sway with the extra weight. Below them strangers footprints are slowly being filled in-

Fresh, cold, and white.

The soft powder muffles other sound-

all but the crunching beneath even tip-toeing feet.

The sunset's rose colored glow-

glimmers against the blue and white mountains.

The peace and calm that the snow brings-

I could listen to for hours.

dexxxxx and the dreaded cold

2010-11-15T13:33:00.000-08:00

Man school is so stressful... I try so hard, study for hours and I still get horrible grades on my tests. NOT fun. Especially this week because I caught a horrible cold and lost my voice, and I got sent home from work in a very embarrassing fashion. Let me just say that it's hard to work as a cashier when you hardly have a voice, and are on the verge of coughing up a lung. I was ringing up my neighbor when it happened....

(side note: I hate it when people come into the bakery that I know... They give me this look like, hey, you going to give me a discount or slip me an extra cookie? It's like this subtle head nod. You know like the one you give someone when you see them from a distance, but your arms are full, so you just kinda give a "hey, I see ya, and I would give ya a high five, but as you can see I don't have a free hand" sort of nod. Yeah, that's the nod. I never give in though, and for that I deserve a pat on the back.)

...Anyway, I was ringing up my neighbor and I could feel that I was about to have a massive cough attack...I tried to hold it back, I kept swallowing and saying to myself, "it's all in your head, you're fine, its just a scratchy throat, you're fine." But my eyes started watering, and the expression on my neighbors face turned from a friendly smile, to serious concern! So... before I exploded into tears, I ran into the back room with tears streaming down my face. Luckily my co-worker rescued me, and covered on the register. But man, It was just plain embarrassing!

Hopefully this week I am going to feel better physically, mentally and emotionally...

PS. Last week, since I was sick, I got totally hooked on Dexter. I'm already on season 2! I know Jaimie watches it... anyone else?

love, language, and thanksgiving

2010-11-08T13:24:00.000-08:00

man, school is nipping at my heels lately. I just keep going and going and going, test after test after test. I don't know if I wrote about this yet, but I chose my major. I am doing speech and communication disorder and hopefully going on to graduate school for speech pathology. That's the plan anyway...

I love learning about speech, how it is produced and how we each speak differently, but I can honestly say that I miss writing! My favorite class I have ever taken in college is Creative Writing. I loved the freedom that came with being able to create and discover my own characters, my own story and dialogue. Now that's I've decided on a career, my future is full of memorizing phonetic symbols and recognizing speech impediments. It's not that I am not excited for all the amazing knowledge and waiting out there for me, but I just miss having an creative element to my classes. So, with that in mind, I decided to start blogging more regularly.

Today, it snowed. I hate the snow, but something about it today made me super excited for the smell of my grandmas turkey stuffing, the way my skin feels when I cozy into a warm knit sweater, or the smell of pumpkin pie, or sturdy leather boots.

Things I love lately:

hot tubbing

pomegranates

slow dancing with nate

turning on my space heater and swimming in my warm bed and blankets.

argyle leggings

"fireworks"---katy perry

toe socks

long hugs

cooking soup

modern family

and greg laswell. (his concert is on friday, I'm beyond excited.)

QUESTION:

What is your favorite holiday meal? Thanksgiving or christmas.

I know it is early, but this weather has got me excited! :)

----mine is stuffing and apple pie! A close second is green bean casserole.

stuck i n my h e a d

2010-10-28T13:51:00.001-07:00

sweet video, and I am jealous of her hair.

Rihanna - Only Girl (In The World) from ALySmith on Vimeo.

2 things

2010-10-19T23:53:00.000-07:00

I am so happy for J! She's married, and it was a gorgeous wedding! This is a picture of me and liz with the beautiful bride outside of the Salt Lake LDS temple!

in love with this song all over again.

october

2010-10-17T22:01:00.000-07:00

Halloween is my favorite holiday. So, in the spirit of hollows eve approaching, I have been to two haunted houses, decked my house out in lights, cobwebs and strobe lights, and today I took a drive up the canyon's to see all the leaves changing color. I was so mad because my camera died before I could get any picture with Nate and I with all the amazing colors! But I was able to get a few pictures! I really am so lucky to live in utah were these gorgeous mountains are literally 15 minutes away!

This weekend I also went on a hay ride and picked my own pumpkin straight off the vine. We went to a family run farm in Syracuse, Utah. I had honestly never seen so many pumpkins all in one place it was amazing!

University of Utah, baby!!!

Me and my sisters make a splendid four-some, eh?

AND I couldn't let you go without showing our pictures from the haunted houses! Wow, Nate makes SUCH attractive faces in photos doesn't he?

Sorry that I have failed at blogging, I am trying to get back into it slowly, so please forgive me! I know I say this every time but I am just too busy to blog! But I will try to make time this week! I promise. I miss you all!

Happy October! :)

3am oƃıʇɹǝʌ & 4 other things.

2010-10-10T01:42:00.000-07:00

1. I like this photo :)

2. If a song has clapping in it, I WILL love it. Do you guys have something that makes or breaks a song or an artist? Nate and I were talking about this the other day, for me, clapping makes a song, I have no idea why but it is instantly 60 times catchier if there is clapping. Also, for me, if there is a super long intro, it kinda kills the song for me...Although there are always exceptions to the rule of course. What about you guys?

3.I love this acoustic version of "Never Going to Leave This Bed" by Maroon 5. Way better than the original. It's been on repeat for the past 48 hours. ignore this large void... Sorry about this weird void I am too lazy to figure out how to get rid of it.

4. I am spinning 'round and 'round from this stupid haunted house I went to, there were all these crazy rooms, one of them was like angled and it felt like I was walking almost uʍop- ǝpısdn and of course, there was the room with the walls spinning, that tripped me up. I feel so nauseous right now, but I went to this haunted house like 4 hours ago. How to I still feel sick? Maybe it was the midnight pancake run? We went to this cafe where they serve chicken and waffles, these drunk people sitting next to use all got them and literally used 3 containers of syrup. It was NUTS. But it did look good. They tried to convince Nate and I to get them, but I wasn't hungry enough to eat my weight in syrup and chicken... Nate almost gave into the peer pressure, and didn't want to offend these friendly drunks, so after giving our order to the waitress, Nate whispered said, "oh and if they ask, we got the chicken and waffles, we dont want to offend them, now do we?" I got a laugh out of that. Drunk people make me smile.

Has anyone ever had chicken and waffles? I am going to go back and get it when I have a better appetite!

5. Life is gewd.

2010-09-22T07:55:00.001-07:00

music should go right through you, leave some of itself inside you, and take some of it with you when it leaves

Shhii outta' luck

2010-09-15T13:06:00.001-07:00

I don't blog as much anymore because I don't have time between classes, which was when I would usually blog. But what can I say besides I think I am finally getting the balance between having fun, and studying. This summer was just an all around ruckus of a party. So surprise surprise when school came around and knocked me off my feet with a surge of commitment and a huge time management slap in the face. This week I finally decided to stick with my plan of getting more sleep, and being more productive and I think that it is working.

I hope that my streak of bad luck has come to and end. Just a few weeks ago drove my dad's prius and was parked outside of Nate's house and some idiot sideswiped my dad's car and didn't leave a note... who does that? honestly... I have had a patch of very turbulent luck in the past few months... here is a quick run down...

1.) failure to signal at 2am. There aren't even cars to signal to at 2am... of course the one other car on the road was a police officer.

2.) driving along with Nate in the bug, blastin tunes with the top down feeling the wind in our my hair...and got nailed for going 13 over the speed limit. Luckily, he only ticketed me for 4 over!

failure to signal+ 4 MPH over got me a letter in the mail saying I needed to have a traffic court appearance... ugh.

3.) (The night before my court appearance) I am driving home from Nate's house and see flashing lights in the rear-view mirror.... I rolled through a stop sign. Of course. This would happen. SO I get another ticket. I even tell the cop my sob story about my meeting THE NEXT DAY. None the less, this heartless dude gives me a ticket. I was pissed. I call Nate, crying because I was so stressed, mad, and frankly- just shit of luck. He calmed me down, but by the time I was home, I was still so upset that I couldn't even sleep.

The next day I hurry home from work to change and make it to my appearance on time. I turn off my street and see Nate driving the opposite direction. I can honestly say that I was extremely confused. He parks in the middle of the road, jumps out of his car, kisses me, and then hands me a beautiful bouquet of flowers! How adorable is that? It definitely made my day!

SO... $30 for lack of a blinker+ $70 for joy riding 13 over + $90 for whizzing through a stop sign + $50 for traffic school +$40 for a defensive driving class = a priceless lesson on being a better driver.

Danny and Annie

2010-09-09T14:34:00.000-07:00

Jamie posted this on facebook and I thought that it was such a beautiful love story, I had to share it.

Danny & Annie from StoryCorps on Vimeo.

PDA- people discovering amour

2010-08-29T16:22:00.000-07:00

Is it weird for me to say that I love watching scenes like in this picture unfold. I know it's someone else's PDA, and for many people public displays of affection are horribly revolting. I am not saying I get a kick out of watching everyone. Just certain "displays". For example- a couple greeting each other at a coffee shop after a long work day is much different than Juvenile PDA you'd see back in high school with a 13 year-old couple sucking face outside your Biology class.

I was driving the other day and I saw a young couple pushing a stroller together. They crossed the street right in front of me. As the crossed they both threw their heads back in laughter, and I could tell from the girls face that her husband had just made a wittingly sarcastic remark. She walked ahead of him with the stroller, and once they reached the other side of the street, still laughing, he grabbed her hand and wrapped her into an adorable kiss. I looked at the other cars next to me, just to see if I was the only one witnessing this adorable couple. Sure enough, almost all the passengers had their heads turned with a smile while observing this intimate, yet, minute and inconsequential aspect of their relationship.

So, like I said earlier, occasional cute PDA is one my favorite things to witness. It's a private thing, and by seeing it, I feel almost privileged to know a little bit about their relationship. I hope I still have passion and spontaneity in my marriage when I've been with him for 40 years. In fact, to not have that is a big fear of mine.

You know whats interesting? I would have never written this post 3 months ago because I think we all hate PDA when we are single.

julyyyy

2010-07-29T14:33:00.000-07:00

The past month--

I turned 20

4-wheeled through gorgeous meadows

kissed under the stars

played frisbee under a canopy of fireworks

lounged on the beach

cried in the beauty of a sunset

found ways to enjoy a 3 hour traffic jam

enjoyed the simplicity of an ice cold dr. pepper almost every day

became a red head

finished a quilt

rediscovered how powerful the silence between two humans can be

{It's been a fantastic month}

(pictures soon to come.)

2010-07-20T10:55:00.000-07:00

"Why do you try to hold on to what you’ll never get a hold on, you wouldn’t try to put the ocean in a paper cup."

— Ani Difranco

if you haven't seen this yet, run to the movie theater.

twenty.

2010-07-02T07:02:00.000-07:00

I wish the good in the world could be more often recognized, opposed to all the bad.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Food for thought
EMOTION--Some emotional states only have names in particular languages. Here are some examples:
Fiero (Italian): contented pride in achieving something just for oneself.
Amae (Japanese): the sweet feeling of being dependent on someone else.
Naches (Yiddish): the glow of proud pleasure that only a child can give to its parents.
Schadenfreude (German): the feeling you experience when you learn that your worst enemy has suffered some misfortune.
Ennui (French): the sophisticated, world-weary boredom most intensely felt by philosophers and intellectuals.

Today is my twentieth birthday. I am not really sure why I decided to break the silence on today of all days. Maybe it's because my world has become a bit more interesting in some aspects, yet a tad bit boring in others. Such is life. It is a constant battle with happiness. A search for independence. It is at times scary; when we want dependence but don't have the right person by our side. Or worse-- when we have the right person, and didn't see they were there for us all along. I can honestly say, that I am excited to be twenty! And this year has so far, been a crazy year, but I have loved it! It's been hard, but I've met a lot of people, become close with a lot of people, and am still trying to fully grasp who I am and what I want out of life.

Here are a few things I have learned this year:
If you do not tell the truth about yourself, you cannot tell it to other people, or about other people.

Sometimes you just have to suck it up and do it.

Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.

Kiss more.

A broken heart is still able to love... maybe that's why it is so easy to forgive the ones we deeply care for.

My family has seen me at my ultimate worst but they still love me. This makes our relationship unbreakable.

Sisterhood is a deep bond. Sometimes silence and being hugged, is as powerful as books, and books full of advice.

The only reason I am so skinny is because I laugh so much.

The times I feel like I need to be alone, are the times I need to be with people most.

guilt is a useless emotion.

You can't not smile if you're boating.

gossip never gets anyone anything but lost trust, and fewer friends

love unconditionally.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
what do I want for my birthday?........This adorable little pig! Ah, it's so cute!

steal.

2010-05-28T13:43:00.000-07:00

22.

2010-05-23T13:35:00.000-07:00

"When children learn to count they naturally add and multiply. Subtraction and division are harder to teach them, perhaps because reducing the world is an adult skill."

Life is such a short adventure; fill it with the people that make you laugh, the food that makes you smile, and the conversations that open your mind.

Sundays usually consist of unsuccessfully getting to church on time, cramming for tests, craving a long nap but not having enough time to squeeze it in, and perhaps a family argument. However-- now that it is summer I can sleep for as long as I want, rest, take my dog on long walks through the gully, and write letters to all my friends who are serving LDS Missions. I have been meaning to write them for such a long time and now that finals are over I have time to do it.

I haven't written in ages, and for that I apologize. As of late?

I ventured off to Lake Powell, which was an amazing adventure. We had like 60 people camping together, boats, jet skis, gorgeous sunsets, and nightly adventures consisting of navajo tacos, Dr. Pepper cravings, and sneaking into the hot tub at the Lake Powell Resort.

22 things that have been making me happy lately:

Greg Laswell's new album

Being the only person on the freeway late, late, at night.

Starting on my list of "must-see-movies" Last night I watched Up In the Air. It was fantastic.

Music Hunting

Eating at hole-in-the-wall restaurants, delis and cafes around the city.

Not biting my nails.

Laughing with Liz.

Strangers you see so regularly, they almost seem like friends.

Lunch with high school friends

Talking with my dad.

Curling my sisters hair for Sr. Prom. I still can't believe high school was two years ago.

Driving around @ two in the morning while flying kites out of the sunroof.

Thinking about the future, and seeing how much I have grown in the past few months.

Underwear shopping.

Being respected for not drinking while playing beer pong.

Making believe you're somewhere else, in a different era, or role.

being tan.

Those moments when you're on a road trip with good friends and the music, the sunset and the lack of conversation combine to make the perfect moment.

Holding a crying friend, and telling them that everything will be okay because you've overcome the same trial that stands before them.

Things you don't have to work at to enjoy.

Counting down the days to my cruise.

Knowing that I can love again.

mother

2010-05-09T14:23:00.000-07:00

Your Mother is always with you.
She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street.
She's the smell of certain foods you remember,
Flowers you pick and perfume that she wore.
She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not feeling well.
She's your breath in the air on a cold winter's day.
She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep,
The colors of a rainbow.
She is Christmas morning.

Your Mother lives inside your laughter.
And she's crystallized in every tear drop.
She's the place you came from, your first home.
She's the map you follow with every step you take.
She's your first love, your first friend, even your first enemy.
Nothing on earth can separate you.
Not time, not space ... Not even death!

~ Author Unknown

everybody gets knocked down--

2010-04-27T17:23:00.000-07:00

This is fantastic!

Princess and the Peeeee.

2010-04-23T11:38:00.000-07:00

Lately, everytime I am about to fall asleep I realize I have to go to the bathroom. For about 15 minutes I contemplate if I should unsnuggle out of my bed and walk down the scary, dark hallway to the bathroom...or if I should just stick it to the man and hold it. Every night I weigh the pros and cons, which are ALWAYS the same. So who knows why I have to keep reviewing them? I honestly think that having to pee when you are asleep is the most annoying things ever. Maybe I will just have to move my bed closer to my bathroom? OR drink less dr. pepper and red bull. Finals week is creepin' in on me, and I am already so short on sleep the next few weeks are not going to be fun... caffeine will save me, if i don't be the bed first...

2010-04-19T11:07:00.001-07:00

"I can only note that the past is beautiful because one never realises an emotion at the time. It expands later, and thus we don't have complete emotions about the present, only about the past."

-Virginia Woolf

ABC's of J-O-C-E

2010-04-14T10:37:00.000-07:00

I stole this from my lovely blog friend, Allison. Hope you are having a lovely wednesday tonight I am going to see Frank Warren present his Post Secret project for the University of Utah, I am so excited, I will be sure to do a post about it soon!

A - Age: 19

B - Bed size: queen

C - Chore you hate: I would have to say sweeping, I hate sweeping. And everyone at work makes fun of me because I "sweep like a little girl."

D - Dog's name: Greta

E - Essential start your day item: Some Rockin' tunes, the first thing I do after hitting the snooze button 80 times, is open iTunes.

F - Favorite color: There has been great debate on what exactly to call me favorite color, SO I will just name them all: Salmon, Melon, PinkyOrange, Guava ect... haha pick one.

G - Gold or Silver or Platinum: Platinum

H - Height: 5'7"

I - Interesting fact about yourself: I have a list of places I want to go skinny dipping :p

J - Jewelry you wear every day: The bracelet Liz made me!

K - Kids: ? good song. haha MGMT

L - Living arrangements: Live in Salt Lake City with my 3 sisters, Mom, Dad, Greta our airedale, Miles our 17 year old cat, and tiny tim our hermit crab. (everyone is afraid of tiny tim. EVERYONE. He is creepy!)

M - Mom's name: Alison

N - Nickname: Joce, Jimmy, Jonny, Jaco, Jacapo, Johan, Dean.

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: that'll be a negative.

P - Pet peeve: ugh I have so many. But I hate it when girls purposely walk so their ponytail swings. haha random I know.

Q - Quote: "I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you." John 14:18

R - Right or left handed: Right

S - Siblings: 3 sisters!

T - Time you wake up: Monday and Wednesday 7am. Tuesday and Thursday? 10am and weekends, whenever I wake up! haha

U - Underwear: Always. What kind of a question is this?

V - Vegetable you dislike: Carrots!

W - Ways you run late: Loose my phone, misplace my shoes, raiding my fridge, and picking an outfit.

X - X-rays you've had: lungs, ankle, collarbone, knee...

Y - Yummy food you make: I make the best raspberry blondies you will ever have!

Z - Zoo favorite: any of the cats!

Your Mom's House

2010-04-11T12:35:00.000-07:00

"People are always blaming circumstances for what they are. I do not believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they cannot find them, they make them."
— George Bernard Shaw

So the past week was horrible, amazing, tiring and relaxing all at the same time. Everyday there was something new, a different emotion a different task i needed to overcome. But I did my best to do it all, and accomplish what I needed to do. Monday was a horrible day and I was really unhappy, I was lonely, missed all my friends since I swear I am the only one without a boyfriend, and I was stressed with school. It's safe to say that I was just gloomy, the weather certainly didn't help much either. However, I decided that I hating being miserable so I changed my attitude. I can't change the cards I am dealt, but I can change how I play them. So taking on this new approach, I decided to stop moping around and be more productive. I became more optimistic and started to laugh more, be nicer to my sisters and spend more time with them since they were on spring break. Not to mention the tegan and sara concert cheered me up, and that concert became a source of inspiration and I am actually writing my final paper for my gender class on them and their influence on the GLBTQ community.

I loved having my younger sisters home, it lead to random redbox rentals late on a random wednesday night, gazing at Taylor Lautner even though I hate Twillight. And my favorite adventure was after our crazy dog chewed through our comcast internet cable... We needed the internet and instead of going to the library or to a place we KNEW had wi fi, we drove around the city trying to steal random persons internet connection, It was honestly a lot harder than I thought. We discovered that starbucks has wi-fi but after buying a hot chocolate, you have to pay to use the internet... who does that? lame. Parked in front of some sketchy apartments we laughed at the crazy titles random people named their wi-fi, my favorite was, "your mom's house." My dad once said that he wanted to name our wi-fi "satan" but instead we got stuck with my mom's maiden name as our wi-fi name. it's not too exciting. Do you guys know your wi-fi names? i really want to change my wi-fi name to something scandalous and make all my neighbors guess whose it is...

The whole concept of the shared library on itunes is the same idea, the other day I was listening to some random person's library since we were on the same network and someones popped up that was titled, "I dare you to find someone with better taste in music" I started laughing and they did have good taste in music, i must say! oh man... random stories I know! But hey, a blog is a free speech area right? :P Hope all you bloggers are doin well! And if you just read my blog and don't blog yourself, well then hope you're doing spectacularly as well!

2010-04-06T13:36:00.001-07:00

"Pray that your loneliness may spur into finding something to live for, great enough to die for."

spring fever

2010-04-01T12:21:00.001-07:00

The snow is slowly drifting outside, as my sandals sit cold, and shivering on the back porch. my pink poesy toenails are ready for the sun, the warmth-- the weather here makes me woozy this time of year. i shiver, but my blanketed skin craves the sun, to be tan again. Just let the sun shine through-- i will even warmly welcome the unpleasantness of red itchy eyes that come when your bright buds burst from the ground! I am ready for the windows down, and the red rock of powell, please just give it to me. No more games, mother nature...give it to me, give me spring!

i could sleep for fifteen thousand hours.

2010-03-21T16:10:00.001-07:00

well this week is over, it's a miracle. I am so happy to finally have this past week done with. It was honestly a joke. I put a lot of time and energy into the election at the university this year and in all honesty I was confident that I was going to win. I campaigned all day everyday, resulting in a sunburned face, exhausted work nights and long difficult hours of studying. Throughout all of this I didn't see my opponent once. Not once did I see him actively campaigning, so i felt pretty good about it! Surprise Surprise when thursday morning rolled around and I didn't win. At first I was a little bugged but I got over it pretty quick. I was more frustrated with the entire system in general than I was with my own loss of the senate seat. I went to a 3 1/2 hour long senate meeting on thursday night and I am SO glad that I didn't get elected. I am going to have so much more time next year for even better things! woot~

Anyone remember my blog post about my blue book epiphany last april? Here is an excerpt from it, "The other day I was about to take a test and I realized that I didn't have a blue book, so I went to the bookstore and was sprinting across campus with a blue book in my hand. I made it in time, but it was a really stressful situation but while I was running I was laughing because the looks people were giving me were hilarious! Everyone's face read, "and I thought I was having a bad morning..." Maybe every morning I should run through campus with wet hair, dirty clothes and a blue book in hand. Hey, it would brighten everyone's day!"
Last year I was running late for my final exam in US history. This year, on wednesday morning to be precise, I had a midterm and guess what happened? I can honestly say that it was almost play by play the exact same scenario. Except for this time around I was most definitely NOT smiling. I had just dropped off a bunch of stuff for the campaign table, and had not planned enough time to grab a blue book, park, and get to my test on time. As i recall I was not even close to smiling, ha in fact was on the verge of tears. I remember running across campus thinking, "wow... hasn't this happened before?" I can only say that there was a miraculous reason why, at the last minute wednesday morning, I changed my shoes from flip-flops to running shoes. It was god telling me that I was should strap on my kicks because i'd be making a run for it.

I made it on time. And aced the test, I think it must have been all the adrenaline running through my body, because I had was not prepared for that test at all!

oh a lighter note:

it is spring break, and I cannot even tell you how excited I am to not have to do ANYTHING. I am so excited.

I discovered that when I am upset I go shopping, since I now have a job, this could lead to some heavy overdraft fees from the bank...

I finally found a swimsuit. This is a huge accomplishment and just in time for the break! We are takin' the bug convertible down to southern utah woot!

happy st. patricks day!

2010-03-16T16:20:00.000-07:00

I thought this was hilarious!

My Spoonful of Sugar

2010-03-09T14:30:00.000-08:00

It's going to be a very long two weeks, but I know I can get through it. I am going to make a list of some things that been making me very happy lately...

- watching the sun pour through the window onto my cat's soft grey fur.

-wishing I could take a cat nap in the sun, just as he does for hours each day.

-laughing at people who laugh at themselves.

-yoga.

-the fact that Liz's brain was so fried in class that instead of neutron, or proton, she wrote crouton.

-laughing with Adrian at work.

-bringing extra cookies home from work.

-having my family all together on Sundays.

-waking up on my own time.

-holding onto my headboard and stretching my long legs under my cozy down comforter.

-when Gretta cocks her head to the side.

-hugs.

-sushi.

-wrinkly old people.

-the pride that comes with not biting my nails.

-crying during the Biggest Loser.

-A Fine Frenzy.

-laughing at people who play farmville during class.

-having a clean room.

-not using fb as much. I feel so much more productive!

-the look on people's face when they don't catch my sarcasm.

-dark-haired guys with scruff and glasses.

-swiss cheese.

-baby's tiny little feet, and soft little hands.

-Checking to see if you have a text message, putting your phone back down and then getting it.

-waking up to a hilarious text.

-post secret Sundays.

-the spider-man sticker on the back of my phone.

-getting a letter in the mail.

-NOT swimsuit shopping.

-cuddling.

One Art

2010-03-02T12:25:00.000-08:00

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.


--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied.  It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.


-Elizabeth Bishop

From the Secret Files of Jocelyn's Phone--Episode Three: Wednesday 2:45? Suuure...

2010-02-24T11:06:00.000-08:00

I told myself I was going to sit and write this blog. I have quite a few things that are blog worthy. My faithful readers will know from my former episodes 1 & 2 that I save my blog epiphanies in the drafts of my phone. Here are a few of my random thoughts that have been ruminating (i love that word. I am going to try and use it more.) This is so random but that parenthesized phrase reminded me of one of my new years resolutions. It was to use the word Bumpkin more often. Its funny because this is the first time that I have used it since I made that resolution almost 2 months ago. Is it safe to say that I failed? Yes.

Back on track, I am going to go through these random drafts from most recent to least. So, I believe it was on Monday I wrote in my drafts: glasses

Monday was just a bad day. I felt horrible, and I was coughing all over the place. I rolled out of bed at 6:55 and drove to school. Monday is kinda like a cop-out for when you look ugly. Lets face it, everyone looks horrible on Mondays. I ran into a few friends walking on campus and our conversation went as follows:

hey, how are you? eh, alright. It's a monday. You? eh, it's a monday. yep. It's a monday alright. (sigh) monday.
who is who in this conversation? Does it matter? It was a monday. Nothing matters on Mondays except the fact that you successfully got out of bed and to school, most likely late, it matters that your heart is beating and your lungs are breathing. That's it.

We all have those friends, (or perhaps I am talking about you) who wear contacts all the time, so often in fact, that we never see them in glasses and ultimately forget they even have them. But then you see them wearing glasses, and you know the second they come into view sporting the four-eyes, that A.) Jimmy or Suzie broke up with them B.) they pulled an all-nighter for a 20 page paper, or perhaps C.) they broke out with pink eye the night before. Whatever the reason, they feel like crap.

My point? If I always wore contacts, on monday, I would have been sportin' my four-eyes and sweats.

The next item of business in my phone is: sNOw white (not really sure why the caps are screwy I must have been in a rush when I typed it into my phone?)

I think these laptop stickers are awesome!

BTW-- These drafts have absolutely nothing to do with each other. You've probably figured that out my now. If not, you're probably a very interesting person and we should have lunch sometime.

I would never put it on my computer but I just thought it was a cool idea!

Draft #3 This draft reads: Wednesday 2:45 I have no idea what the significance of this is, haha. I think it was the time of the hair appointment like 2 months ago? Sure. We'll go with that explanation.

Draft#4 This draft reads: Extension Cord oh my goodness... someone showed me this and I thought that it was hilarious. I totally forgot about it. haha.

Draft #5 reads: towels
I honestly had to think about this one for a few minutes! It was so long ago. But I remembered.

I bought a new towel a while ago. And please, please comment and let me know if you have experienced the same thing, so I know that I am not going crazy.

The Merriam- Webster Dictionary's definition of towel: an absorbent cloth or paper for wiping or drying.

I bought this towel and expected it to DRY, and be absorbent, however, when the time came for this towel to show me it's worth, I was extremely let down. This towel not only didn't dry, but I swear it made me even more wet. It was like drying myself off with a piece of water resistant fabric. Even though it couldn't dry, it was a pretty color. One of my favorite shades of orange, but it was failing horrendously at it's job. It's little towelish mother would have been upright ashamed!

I think that I will have to give my lil' orange towel another chance.I will let you know what the final verdict is. Trash, or towel rack?

And finally: United State of Pop 2009if you haven't heard this awesome mashup you're severely missing out on a unavoidable dance party.

This was Episode Three. I hope you will continue tuning in for more of my secret drafty files... I have missed blogging! I am way behind on everyone's blogs so I will try to catch up! Hope you're all doing fantabulous!

It's so simple and you know it is.

2010-02-18T22:40:00.000-08:00

Sorry about these lame short posts, but I haven't really felt like blogging lately.

I am sick of having to find dates for things... there are only so many fish in the sea, and none seem extremely awesome. They are all a little bit fishy :p

I am exhausted all the time, and lately have resorted to wearing my lazy clothes to school. With the lazy clothes comes the lazy hair.

My grades are going to suffer dramatically thanks to the beautiful Olympics. I love them. It was so much fun having the 2002 winter games in Salt Lake, and I hope that they will come back here soon!

I need to go music hunting really badly, but I just haven't felt like it. My iPod is slowly becoming boring and about once a month a need to restock and edit out my songs. I think it's about time? I just need to find the time. It seems to have run away from me.

The past few months have flown by! I can't believe that February is almost over, it's crazy to me. Hopefully summer will come quickly.

I miss being tan, I want to put the top down on my bug, so badly. It was 45 degrees and I seriously almost did. I want it to be warm so so bad.

I'm addicted to this song. I love Snow Patrol.

ps. Valentines day sucks when you're single.

2010-02-09T12:05:00.000-08:00

I hate reading cute books. It makes me miss special people.

Emotions wear you out.

2010-02-01T11:09:00.000-08:00

First item of business... Don't see When in Rome it's a waste of time.

Second item... I went to the doctor for my ankle, and also for my crazy mind. (I'll explain don't worry.) So a few weeks ago, I was being an idiot and decided to jump off a flight of stairs onto a love sac... yeah dumb idea. I had watched a few people do it, so I was like, "ahhh why not, I've done stupid stuff before and not gotten hurt!" So i jumped and totally didn't make it. I landed on the second to last step, all my weight on the heel of my left foot. It didn't hurt until last week so I decided to get it checked. And it was perfect timing because I have been having the strangest dreams and haven't been sleeping well lately and wanted to ask the doctor about it. I went and got an x-ray, I guess I just tore a minor tendon in my ankle but it hurts like the dickens. So he wrapped it up and told me to be careful jumping off stairs. "Next time, I hope you make it to the love sac." If I was a doctor I would be hilarious. I wouldn't be happy in a career where I couldn't make people laugh.

Then I asked him about my dreams and he said that I wasn't getting enough REM sleep and that I was in the dream phase of sleep for an abnormal amount of time. So I am taking Melatonin now to help my natural sleep cycle get back on track. It seems to be working so that's good! Last week though... whew! I would wake up more exahusted then when I hit the pillow, and I was emotionally drained. I had a dream where I fell in love with some british guy, watched my best friend get in a car accident, found out the sexy guy was actually my cousin, and then he broke up with me. It was exhausting. It was as if all the emotions that go along with falling in love, becoming attached to that person and the breakup, were all crammed into one night. It was crazy... And I am so glad that it's over!

Anyway, I hope that you all had a fabulous weekend! Mine was full of ups and downs. I have been kinda stressed about a lot of things lately, I kinda lost it for a few minutes on friday night when we were at dinner with my sorority. But other than that I have gotten pretty good at not letting my emotions show, especially around my family. Because I don't really feel like I can open up to them as much as I used to, and honestly I think its a good thing that they don't really know what's going on in my life. I am not a secretive person but sometimes it's good to not wear your emotions on your sleeve. I caught J's cold, which is no fun, but that's alright! I'll just drown myself in OJ. My usual cure. Maybe I should trademark it as a legit cure?

ps. I am addicted to MTV's "The Buried Life." Anyone else watch it?

I have a problem, don't judge me.

2010-01-27T11:02:00.000-08:00

I always find good music in sets. I am not sure why, but that's just the way it happens! So right now I am listening to my "w i n t e r" playlist of songs that I unburied from the cyberworld last week. I don't think I have listened to anything besides this playlist all week. This is a bad thing. Why? Because I am now addicted to these songs but don't want to get sick of them so I literally have to ween myself off of them slowly. I am sure that all you music lovers know exactly what I am talking about... BUT it's quite annoying in all honesty. Even though I love getting new music I always find myself in this rut!

Another thing about my music. I find myself being very protective of certain bands that are "just about to make it big" or freaking rad songs that I find on music blogs or in a quirky movie trailer or something. These are always songs that I uncover before the radio, or anyone else in close proximity to me does. I almost have a unhealthy attatchment to them and when someone else puts their facebook status as "OMG check out this rad new group (insert band name here)!" and it just happens to be the song that I have had on repeat for months and months... this shouldn't irritate me but it does. I almost feel too protective of these songs, to the point where I just want to smack myself...

However, there are people that I willingly share my music gems with. I'm pretty sure that this behavior is unhealthy, and in reality actually hurting the artists and musicians that I love so much. BECAUSE I love them I should share them with people. But I feel that I can only share this music with those that will appreciate it, haha. I think that this post makes me look like a total freak and probably an OCD nerd. But I promise it's not like that. haha.

Does anyone else go through this problem? Maybe we should start a support group!?

I am such a doofus.

The AVATAR blues

2010-01-21T12:06:00.000-08:00

I saw Avatar in 3D on monday night and it was spectacular. My mom told me yesterday that she heard on NPR about Post-Avatar Depression. Thousands of people all around the world have posted in online forums that they are legitimately depressed after seeing the world of Pandora. I'll admit, I was a little jealous of all the amazing glowing plants, and awesome flying creatures that these native people could bond with. I wish I could go there, but I wouldn't say I am depressed about it.

These are some of the comments posted online:

“Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it.. I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ ”
- Mike

"When I woke up this morning after watching Avatar for the first time yesterday, the world seemed ... gray. It was like my whole life, everything I've done and worked for, lost its meaning, It just seems so ... meaningless. I still don't really see any reason to keep ... doing things at all. I live in a dying world."

Ivar Hill, 17, Sweden

Phycotherapist, Stacy Kaiser said, "we see this phenomenon all the time, you see someone who goes to a romance movie, they walk away and they are not with prince charming and they don't have a person like that and so they have a bit of depression, I think that is a piece of it. I don't think it's about the movie, it opens up a portal for them to express their depression."

I found this to be so interesting! I know that I have totally felt that way after coming out of a romance movie. In fact this is embarrassing but I remember after Pride and Prejudice came out a few years ago, I honestly left the theater and could not stop crying I was totally depressed, so I totally know what this woman was talking about.

What are your guys' thoughts? Have any of you seen Avatar?

steak in a blender, lortab and lust

2010-01-19T12:18:00.000-08:00

If this title didn't getcha then I have no idea what will. There are so many things on my mind right now. I have so many things that I want to blog about, I honestly don't even know where to start! I think that I will be posting a lot more in the next little while!

My weekend

thursday- I have never felt like such a man in my entire life. The first manly reason was that I was craving hot wings. Badly. And since monday and thursday are 50 cent wing days at one of my favorite restaurants, I had to go! So I made a glorious Wing Coop run. It's beautiful, so I went to get some wings to-go, came home and that is where the second manly reason comes into play. I sat on my leather couch, surrounded my boxes and boxes of hot wings watching Man vs. Wild. Yes. I love the discovery channel. Yes. Bear Grylls is sexy, and yes, I would totally hook up with him, dispite all the nasty things I have seen him eat/do. I honestly sat there laughing at myself. I think it would be a pretty hilarious Carl's Jr. commercial to be honest. Maybe I will send them a video of myself eating wings, and watching Bear eat a live frog, and wrestle with a wild boar.

friday- I had gum surgery. I had 3 gum grafts because I have a receding gum line, they started to put me out and had given me headphones so I could listen to music. So I put them on and was listening to Taylor Swift, but then I started to come to and realized that I was listening to Radio Disney or something so I started laughing and keep in mind I like can't talk becuase my whole mouth is numb so I am guessing my request sounding something like, "Ummm... caaa i shange uh shannelll. I ooont ike iss ongggg"

Translation: can I change the channel I don't like this song.

I just started laughing because I thought it was so funny, so they all started laughing it was awesome. haha.

Anyway I got home and my whole left side of my face was extremely numb, like I couldn't even feel my nose, that's how bad it was! I felt like I was a stroke patient. So whenever I would smile or laugh only my right side of my face would move, it was hilarious. My family had a lot of fun with that...

So I have been on lortab and stuff all weekend but now I think that I am doing better. Surprisingly I didn't loose any weight! I think it's because I took the whole "no solid foods" thing to the next level.

I blended up a steak with gravy and A1, as well as a few other things haha. Surprisingly the steak was pretty good!

I was thinking of maybe making a franchise of stores that just blend up foods. I could call it like BlendedBliss. I could blend like chicken pot pies, pasta... even cookies and milk. Think of all the people who get their wisdom teeth out, have jaw surgery, or have to eat through a straw. They would for sure support me!

Plus I would for sure make it on that "Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern" show! I've only seen one episode. Yes it is on the Discovery channel. Help me come up with some way that I can be a guest star on Man Vs. Wild. Please!

Unlike Bear, Andrew and I would not be a fitting couple... Guess which one I am in lust with?

randommm

2010-01-12T13:00:00.000-08:00

"I almost wish we were butterflies and lived but three summer days. Three such days with you I could fill with more delight than fifty common years could ever do."- Bright Star

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You know that cliche phrase, "when god closes a door he opens a window"? Well this week I have never believed that so strongly in my entire life. It's been insane. Things have been changing all around me, but I like it that way. I am becoming less scared of change, and it's so exciting to me. One of my new years resolutions is to embrace change. And this week I have welcomed it with open arms! I got a job, and let me tell you folks that I have been looking for a job for about a year... But with my school schedule last semester it made things pretty difficult! However, I am now employed at Paradise Bakery, which is one of my favorite places to eat. So that's a plus! I have a feeling that it is going to be an amazing year :) can't stop smiling when I walk around campus. Although the fact that North Salt Lake is currently ranked the #1 US city for worst air quality, makes my eyes and throat burn when walk outside. I just googled Salt Lake City inversion and I found these two pictures one is much prettier than the other.

The haze, and fog can be ugly, but at the same time, look at how gorgeous this photo of the Salt Lake Temple is!

there goes the fear

2010-01-03T20:54:00.001-08:00

Thinking back on 2009:

all the miles I drove.
money that I spent (useful and useless).
places I swam.
mountains I climbed.
hotels I slept in.
sleepless nights- some full of laughter, others with painful tears.
people I hugged.
people who came in and out of my life.
minutes spent talking on the phone to those I miss.
goals I set and acomplished.
goals that I set and am still working on.
stupid things I wish I could take back.
days and moments I wish I could relive.
& those days and moments I am glad are over.

family and friends- If you are reading this, thanks for putting up with me on my stressful, mopey and discouraged moments this past year. AND more imporntantly, thank you for all the laughter, smiles and beautiful moments that made 2009, an amazingly spectacular year.

I am a member of the church of jesus christ of latter day saints and the first sunday of every month, in our meeting there is time for anyone that wants to, to stand and share experiences, and share their belief and knowlege of the gospel or to just stand and share a thought. These meeting are always so powerful I always look forward to hearing about peoples experiences and AHA! moments, it somehow makes me feel less alone :)

Today in this meeting, a girl stood up and said, "This has hands down been the hardest year I've ever had. And becuase of that, I can honestly say that this year has been the best year of my life so far..."

Hardship builds us up. It makes us stronger, and I know every year has it's ups and downs. 2009 was a rough year. And for many of you it was maybe even the hardest year you can remember. But we survived it! And today, while I was listening to people share their thoughts and reflections about 2009, I had this huge panic that I needed to make some huge changes in my life because it's a new year. I kinda freaked out! But I realized that january 1st is just like any other day, maybe you recieved a special new years kiss, or stayed out all night with friends hoppin' from party to party. But other than that that midnight moment and a new year, it's just like any other day! . Who needs the whole pressure of the "new year" to rush them into a big decision or breaking a habit? Any day we want to change we can change. Begin when you're ready, not when the calender changes. It's never too late in the year to go under construction. It's been a great year!

Cheers to 2010!

“ May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself."[Neil Gaiman]

Groundhog day?

2009-12-14T09:35:00.000-08:00

I feel like I've been sleep walking for the past two weeks... I've had some hilarious times, but school put this haze over everything. I can't wait for finals to be over and done with. Thursday at 10am I will be free. I can't wait to have a clear mind and not have to worry about anything! I hope that you are all surviving also. The last weeks of school before a break are always torture, my friend Meg wandered into class the other day and said, "My life is like groundhog day...I feel like I am living the same day over and over again, I hit the snooze button 8 times, lug myself to school, study, work, study, sleep and it starts all over again..." so true but we can make it!

Ha, lastly in this sadly short post, I am going to post this video that my friend Brittany took, this was one of the most hilarious nights of my life. My two friends who are brothers got in a marker fight, oh man it was funny. I hope it makes you smile!

i swear it was just barely halloween... time flies.

2009-11-30T15:50:00.000-08:00

Countdown.

10 things you want for Christmas:
a job
to finish my room!
a trip to california
skis
a north face jacket
itunes gift card
new blow dryer (side note: faithful readers know that I hate blow drying my hair because it hurts my arm haha)
a cute warm hat, brrrr... it's getting cold in utawwww!
gift card to REI
and a back massage

9 musicians/bands you love:
nada surf
greg laswell
mat kearney
phoenix
the temper trap
ben lee
ingrid
missy higgins
priscilla ahn

8 things you do everyday:
eat :)
sleep too much, when possible
check facebook(not proud of this one)
listen to music
sing loudly to the music that I listen to
think about those that are special to me
laugh
have faith

7 things you enjoy:
music
thinking
people watching
making others laugh
crying when you're holding it all inside
recollecting an old memory that makes you smile
my head hitting the pillow after a long day.

6 things that will always win your heart:
intelligence
spontaneity
wit
love of good music
long eyelashes
having the balls to cry in sad movies

5 favourites:
Movie: shawshank redemption
Song: sweet disposition the temper trap
Book: the book thief
Food: darn good chile verde
Season: autumn

4 smells you enjoy:
the laundry detergent isle at the grocery store
christmas
old spice deodorant (yes it's for men. no i don't wear it, ha.)
the ocean

3 places you want to go:
greece
italy
costa rica

2 Favorite Holidays
christmas
halloween

1 person you’d marry on the spot:
mat kearney

the quiet world

2009-11-23T11:02:00.000-08:00

Listening to:
Left & Leaving- The Weakerthans.
Mood:
Wishing I was in my cozy socks sitting by the fire with a good book.
Emotional status:
pretty darn good. I feel strong.
Excited for:
Stuffing my face with stuffing and turkey.

What are you guys excited for? How are your lives going? Any fun plans for thanksgiving?

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Reasons why I love thanksgiving:

stuffing.

wearing cozy sweaters.

having to loosen my belt at the dinner table, just so I can eat more.

going around the table saying what we're all thankful for.

family.

fresh rolls.

the materalistic aspect of the holidays hasn't hit yet.
people start getting christmas trees.

orange is my favorite color.
walking around the house, trying to find a place to nap, but every couch and bed is taken by a exhausted cousin, aproned aunt or snoring uncle.

knowing that christmas is just around the corner.

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From the blog letters to crushes

I’m all out of midnight phone calls and trying to find the perfect color flowers to be sent to your door. I’m out of throwing letters off fire escapes and drawing a cathedral in the sand. I’m out of spray-painting your name on freeway overpasses. I’m low on cute names given between blankets and 2am. I’ve got no dramatic displays of public affection left. And now everyone else I could ever love is going to think I’m boring. Because I used it all up on you.

— O

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One Word Meme
where's your phone? sitting.
where's your other half? sunny.
your hair colour? dyed.
your mom? sensitive.
your dad? opinionated.
your favourite object? journal.
your dream last night? sad.
your goal? happiness.
where are you? library.
your hobby? laughing.
your fear? alone.
where do you want to be in six years? settled.
where were you last night? bed.
what you are not? cozy.
item on your wishlist? music.
where were you born? hospital.
last thing you did? "cya!"
what are you wearing? boots.
your TV? off.
your pets? cozy.
your computer? on.
your mood? unsure.
missing someone? always.
your car? a mess.
something you are not wearing? earrings.
favourite shop? coffee.
your summer? sunny.
love someone? always.
favourite colours? happy.
last time you laughed? today.
last time you cried? tuesday.
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and here is a poem that I absolutely love...

In an effort to get people to look
into each other's eyes more,
the government has decided
to allot each person exactly a hundred
and sixty-seven words, per day.

When the phone rings, I put it to my ear
without saying hello. In the restaurant
I point at chicken noodle soup.
I am adjusting well to the new way.

Late at night, I call my long distance lover,
proudly say I only used fifty-nine today.
I saved the rest for you.

When she doesn't respond,
I know she's used up all her words,
so I slowly whisper I love you
thirty-two and a third times.
After that, we just sit on the line
and listen to each other breathe.

— Jeffrey McDaniel

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-------------------------------

Time-out

2009-11-10T12:10:00.001-08:00

Ummm... outside of fun activities my life has actually been rather dreary lately. I got sick last week right in the middle of 3 huge exams. I have too much time on my hands, I need a job. I've been feeling really nostalgic, it always happens this time of year, I'm not really sure why. I think it's the smell of the autumn leaves, and the way my ears ache after going for a crisp November jog. I haven't really been nostalgic for a specific period in my life. But maybe more nostalgic for the easy haze everything had over earlier in life. I'm not really sure how to explain it.

Like monday night, I was a mess so without even thinking I grabbed my running shoes and lept off my front porch, my legs and breathing took the emotional beating. My heart was sick of taking the punches, it was my body's turn in the ring. My heart present, it was still a contestant in my jog. The warm blood that kept me moving, beating, pulsed through and around my head, as my arms and legs cut through the darkness, I almost felt like I was playing chicken with the cars on the road. After all- they could barely see me. But as my white sweatshirt stuck out to their guiding lights and they swayed to the other side of the asphalt.

My favorite part of running in the cold, is feeling the warm shot of blood, heat, and adrenaline run under my fridged goosebumped skin. The thought that if you were standing there in the road, stationary... perhaps sticking your thumb out in the air- looking to get away- Looking for an escape, to go someplace alone, you would be freezing. Shaking in your running shoes. But if you are running away, the movement saves you. Running from it all gives you warmth, even if you ears burn with cold. Putting one foot in front of the other gives you strength to figure it all out. Even if by the time you reach your front door again, you feel more dizzy and nauseous than you did leaping off that porch in the first place. Hopefully while your body took the beating, your heart got to sit on the sidelines for a minute and rest from the horrible fight life throws at it.

I have returned!

2009-11-06T12:43:00.001-08:00

First off- I love football!

Has it honestly been a month since I have blogged? Time flies when you're studying and having fun!

Highlights since my last post?

- I spent a glorious 4 days at lake powell.

It was one of the funnest trips I have ever been on. It was fall break, college is hard, and we all deserved some time in the sun before the leaves really started to fall, so we decided to party it up on a boat. We had 35 people, a house boat, the fun part was that a lot of the people I wasn't close to when we began our trip, but now I am! And it's so fun to see my powell buddies around campus! I honestly don't think you know someone until you've driven for hours and hours with them. haha There was of course cliff jumping!

All the girls got really ghetto temporary tat's at a gas station on the way, haha and yes, some of us got tan lines from them!

Have any of you guys ever been to powell? If not, you must go! Yeah, 3 pimps and me.

Gorgeous red rocks and GLASS water, perfect for skiing!

It was amazing!

I got a puppy!

She's an airedale terrier and her name is Greta! I wish you could all meet her she's adorable!

Mat Kearney and I hugged at the concert he stepped into the mosh pit and i was determined to touch him, so I made my way the crowd and while he was singing, wrapped my arms around him he totally hugged me back, and I was hyperventilating, as were all my friends! I honestly was in shock, Mat is one of my favorites, plus he is sexxxxy. See for yourself.

Lifeline - Mat Kearney

And I saw Regina Spektor, she was amazing! I love her.

And I was DW from arthur for halloween! It was so fun, we had a halloween carnival for special needs adults. I got to meet some amazing people. Hopefully I will be able to blog about that later!

It was the blackout game for football and Gail painted my face, it looked awesome! Check it out!

I have another post that I might post today! I will try to catch up on everyone's blogs because I have missed you all!

From the Secret Files of Jocelyn's Phone-- Episode Two: My Fascination With the Left Ring Finger

2009-10-06T11:05:00.000-07:00

Lately I have had an obsession with looking at people's ring fingers. I am not sure why... but I subconsciously check to see if people are married. And these aren't people I know or anything. I'm talking about the person smoking a cigarette left-handed outside of the chemistry building, my bus driver named Dennis, the middle-aged woman talking on her cell phone at a stoplight lugging 3 kids in the back seat, the old man ringing me up at the grocery store. Maybe the ring is newly found on their finger. And the token around their finger is the beginning of an exciting commitment with the love of their life. Maybe, the beginning that the ring offers, scares them to death. Maybe they are divorced but don't like the naked feeling on their ring finger without that promise wrapped tightly around it. It opens up so many questions in my mind... It's crazy.It's a piece of the puzzle.

Everyone has busy lives, and all these strangers have secrets. But a ring on their finger is a whole other chapter they are walking around with, flashing to the world. To think that they have someone to go home to after they are done with class, after they slam the door after a rough day at work, or after sitting in a hotel room alone, fly home from a business trip. I think of who's on the other end of their ring. They are there for them, waiting at the airport to give them a much needed kiss and a familiar hug. "Hey love, I've missed you, welcome home."
I want to hear their whole love story. Blind date? High school sweet-hearts? Where was your first kiss? I know they all have these stories. Because each partnership begins with love sick butterflies, the euphoric moments of just staring into each others eyes, and not having to say anything. Only thinking about them, 24/7. It began with sleepless nights laying in bed thinking about them. Nights when it's just clear. Crystal clear that it is love. Love--when everything and nothing makes sense simultaneously.

It's my way of being a total romantic. I guess piecing together these peoples love lives, and who is waiting at home for them comforts me in a way. I can't really tell you why. I enjoy it, and it's my dose of realistic love when I'm sad, and just need a little pick up. I guess it's safe to say, I am a hopeless romantic, and always will be.

From the Secret Files of Jocelyn's Phone-- Episode One: Bling String

2009-09-29T17:09:00.000-07:00

okay I have a few random things that I want to blog about.... I can't remember the last time I DIDN'T start by blog out that way-- haha. I should just figure that you all realize by now that random thoughts and stupid stories is what my blog consists of.

I have a bunch of things saved in the drafts of my phone that I need to blog about but they are so random that I can't put them all in one post... so I will do it in a series.

first item of business from the files of jocelyn's drafts: Bling String.

Okay, okay.. the bump-it was bad... really bad. And I am used to seeing crazy hairstyles from utah county... but lately I've seen a few people wandering around SLC with this pointless product Bling String also know as (BS) hideously reflecting the sun straight into my eyes. Recent BS sightings ranged from girls ages 12- 30. wow. This is really stupid... what are your opinions on this pointless, barbie- like invention?

Speaking of horrible hair, i stumbled across this picture. Let's hope that this family got some help....

crack a smile once in a while

2009-09-22T20:33:00.000-07:00

k so I really should be studying, but I justify this break. I've been studying for what seems like decades... but it's all good after friday it should calm down for a few days and I can catch up on some reading. Books I want to read. NOT required reading, ha. So I have been meaning to post this but I keep forgetting!

The first week of school I was rushing to one of my classes and I stopped at a vending machine, I whipped by backpack around to get my wallet and glanced up to chose between pop-tarts or sun chips, and this is what I saw------

I had to take a picture I thought that this was such an awesome idea! So when I got a chance, I went to the website at the bottom of this sticky note, operationbeautiful.com, it's an awesome site and I love that its spreading so fast! I want to put these up now, I've also seen in several mirrors on campus people who have written in dry erase marker on all the mirrors, "You are gorgeous!"
I think it's an awesome idea and I know it made my day!

Remember that post that I made a while back about the one way street sign? click HERE to read it for those of you who don't remember, but this totally reminded me of that, and I found myself wondering how many other people had seen this and smiled, I think I am going to try it! It's kinda like post secret in the sense that it's so anonymous it makes me feel so sneaky! I love it-

AND remember how I was going to start putting up more things from that book "14,000 things to be happy about"? well I apologize for slacking because that was a cool book! So- I am going to start it up again, so here we go!

10 things to be happy about

frothiness

uproarious laughter that must be forcibly squelched due to its inappropriateness in a situation

humorous phone calls

waking up with a cat

ivory-colored ribbons

bar lights

having an unfortunate knack for approaching a set of double doors and always pushing the locked one

getting a sliver out

fuzzy rugs

ensuring that there will be at least one slice of banana for every spoonful of cereal

Everyone have a lovely rest of the week and try to smile about something you've never noticed before- AND if you find yourself with an empty sticky note, write a note to a random stranger, and if you're really up for a treat- hide, and watch people's expressions while they read it :)

AND just to make you smile a little wider- I will share yet another embarrassing experience with you, since I have oh so many of them...

I got dressed one morning a few weeks ago, stayed on campus all day, went to sorority, and then someone said, "Jocelyn, are you wearing striped underwear? haha" Yes, my shorts were see-through... how embarrassing is that? I thought it was hilarious so I made someone take a picture, I thought you'd enjoy it as well, so I had to share it with you- ha If this post didn't make you smile, then you're a total Scrooge, and we are not friends anymore, haha. Just kidding I still love you.

I just drank my weight in OJ.

2009-09-11T15:00:00.000-07:00

I am currently in battle.

Senior year during cross-country, Russell and I formulated a strategy... drown yourself in OJ. Everyday, ALL day.

I really can't get sick, life would easily swamp over me and never bring me up for air. I hate being sick, because as if your not all ready tired, your body shuts down even more...staying up late and rarely being home to eat ACTUAL food doesn't help either. So in order to stave off the germs.... The last few days, I have drank my weight in OJ. (I automatically thought of Juno and her sunny-d, haha. I love that movie.) Anyway, I will update you if I get sick but I really hope that doesn't happen... cross your fingers, and maybe, if worse comes a-prancing... cross your toes.
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So in other news.... ummm. I am going to the Regina Spektor concert in November... oh my. I am SO excited!

I went to the great salt lake the other day with my friends to swim (float) and play touch football. I hadn't been there since the 4th grade, because it's a very odd place... definitely not a very touristy place, ha. And it smells like death. Whenever a storm is coming you can smell it all across the valley this weird heavy moist salty wind... it's pretty cool actually! I have grown used to the smell because I love stormy weather!
Anyway, so we parked pretty far away to avoid a stupid parking fee, that would have taken us pretty much straight to the lake... but the lake looked pretty close, or so we thought, so we decided to just walk. It was so weird walking across the salt flats because the mirage just kept going and going. It took us like a half an hour to get there, all because we were trying to avoid a stupid parking fee that we later found out did not exist. But the walk there, and falling into the illusion of this very odd mirage left us all in a really odd mood. ha, I now understand why people go crazy in search of water in the desert... haha.
When we did finally get to the water, it was very salty, and it was so weird to just float without having to try, it was pretty amazing... but it's definitely not the beach, that's for sure. After we got out and dried off, we were covered in dry salt. It looked like we were shake n' baked with white crystals... it was pretty odd. When I got home I literally stepped out of my swimsuit because it has solidified with all the salt, ha... so weird. Playing football was interesting by the end we were all covered in this gross gray mud from slipping and tackling, as well as covered in dead brine shrimp which we mistook for sand.... haha sounds appetizing eh?

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Anyway- I have my weekend all planned out for me powderpuff football practice, kramer's birthday, hopefully the state fair- haha, football party with amazing food, and I am spending all of sunday building a huge pair of sunglasses to advertise for the University of Utah's upcoming concert called, "REDFEST" slightly stoopid, dilated peoples, and 1st class are all playing. I am going to be pretty busy next week getting that ready... but it'll be fun!

Hope everyone is doing well! Have a fantabulous weekend :)

shkool.

2009-09-06T20:45:00.000-07:00

Listening to: Elaine- The Northwoods (check them out, they are a tiny band, and I love them.)

shkool.

Where to start. Well first of all, I love all my classes, with the exception of math... My teacher is a jedi. Or at least I thought he was. But I recently discovered the truth, which I will reveal momentarily. First day of class, a robed man, with a long pony tail, and beard took to the front of the auditorium. At first I thought it was a joke. I expected him to pull out a light saber or something. The 2nd day of class, I tried to get a picture of him but I forgot that a.) the flash on my phone was on, and b.) it makes some annoying camera noise when it takes the picture. So I kinda made a fool of myself and didn't even get the picture... so sorry. You'll have to use your imagination, folks. But you're all writers, I think you can manage ;)

I was talking to this kid in my class the other day, and this is how our conversation went:

-"Hi I don't think we've met, I'm j---"
-"--ocelyn, right? I heard someone yell your name across campus the other day."

-"oh okay, because I was going to say.... why are you stalking me! ha."

-"yeah you seem pretty chill, but I saw you try and take that picture the other day and I thought you were such a bitch."

-"Ha! I know I probably shouldn't haven taken a picture of him, but none of my friends would believe me that I have a jedi for a professor! I HAD to do it."

-"he's not a jedi, I talked to him after class yesterday and he said that on his off days here he is a Russian orthodox priest."

- okay, yeah. I feel like a bitch now..."

Ha. that's my math class. Here is a picture of what he looks like:

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I am taking creative writing which is really neat. We have to keep a dream journal so that over time we can see the gaps between dream "frames", or the abrupt shifts in characters and chronology. Once we see how easily our unconscious mind works, our professor wants us to try and carry that technique over to our conscious state.

Yesterday we went as a class to the art museum and our assignment was to view the paintings for inspiration for our next poem. Poem based on art, or inspired by art is called Ekphrasis. As I stood looking at the sculptures, paintings, and murals, it was like a whole new experience to ponder about what the people inside the painting are thinking, or what is going on inside the painting, the birds chirping inside the frame, or the warm breeze inside summery landscapes. I am really excited, for this assignment. Maybe I will post the finished product when I am done, but I dunno... we'll see how it turns out!

The first day of class, I looked around for a seat and found one next to a pretty decent looking guy in a arm cast. So I, in some what of a flirtatious manner, asked what had happened to his arm Annnd- after a long story about him falling off his bike, and the burden of not being able to write with his injured arm, he went on to tell me that he was from Washington, but came to utah because he had gone to BYU, but that he was gay and BYU was horrible and so he came to the University of Utah. I was really embarrassed but obviously didn't show any outward signs, even though I thought it was hilarious that I had just flirted with a gay guy. Ha. I wonder how often that happens to him... haha.

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Biology: whewww.. this class is going to be rough. there are 300 people in my class, and my professor wrote the freakin' text book. It's HUGE. Luckily there are 20 TA's and I have been going to the study sessions regularly. The way my professor makes us think causes me to feel like I am in more of a philosophy class than a biology class. I was really scared because nearly every person I have asked about Professor Temme only had horrible things to say. I am almost positive that many of his former students kept voodoo dolls with his face on them. The way they talked about him, made him sound like a horrible beast.
So expecting a possible voo doo doll candidate, I walk into class, only to find a tiny, tiny, man with no hair, body fat, or mercy. However, this man has a hilarious sense of humor. Which I admire and appreciate immensely in a professor. I find his lectures fascinating, although I've only spent two weeks under his wrath, I have never studied so hard in my life and. I am afraid of what is to come, but I have faith in myself that I can do it!

I am also taking an anthropology class which is extremely interesting and I am so excited for that. I would tell you more, but I don't want to bore you all.
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So outside of schooly school stuff. FOOTBALL started on thursday! I am so excited. The University of Utah has been undefeated for the past 15 games. I am so excited for this season. The the Mighty Utah Students Section (the MUSS) 5,000 students piled into one place, matching t-shirts, and a sweet tooth for victory, excitement and a love of football. It's one of my favorite things about fall, it is glorious. And this year I have 5th row tickets, which means up close and personal, start-the-wave-worthy, adreniline amazingness seats...I've been super busy with school and studying, but when I get a chance to hang with my buddies of course I take it! A few nights ago I had one of the biggest laugh attacks I have ever had, and I can't even remember what it was about, but I do know that I was extremely sore the next day. ha.

-I flew a kite, under a beautiful full moon.

-Drank a live goldfish, which is now a yearly tradition.

-taped a wendy's cup to the roof of my friend Brit's car . We were driving around completely straight faced, people were pointing, laughing, even taking pictures at red lights. It was hilarious, a few people rolled down their windows and tried to notify us. One woman was seriously concerned she rolled down her window shouting "hey! hey, you guys have a shake on your car!"

-"huh?"

-A SHAKE! YOU HAVE A SHAKE ON YOUR CAR!"

-"I can't hear you! What are you talking about?!"

haha Brit pretended that she didn't know what she was talking and it was hilarious. I think this next weekend we are going to try it with a purse that we get at some thrift store... bored? Please try this is pure cheap entertainment. oh goodness.

Hope that school is going well for all of you! Enjoy your labor day, I know I am loving sleeping in again :)

Say your house catches on fire, most people would save their cat, dog, maybe their little sister? I'd rescue my journals.

2009-08-19T19:06:00.001-07:00

I can't believe that it's been 4 weeks since I blogged! I promise that once school starts I will blog more, that's what I do with my procrastination time. blog.

This blog has been a blessing to me, honestly! I also keep a journal/diary/notebook or whatever you prefer it to be called. I write so much more about how I am feeling in my blog, I know it should be the other way around- but lately I haven't really felt like writing privately. I still write every night, but it's usually not more than a few sentences. I used to write pages and pages but lately I feel like my mind is a broken record and going over and over the same question and answers. Why write everyday if I feel that way? I remember when I was little I got a journal and I recorded important events and holidays, but I never moped or told who I was crushing on. Even though I knew that was what a diary was for. It wasn't until about 8th grade that I made that switch and began writing what I FELT, instead of a list of holidays in chronological order.

My journals have become more of a maze over the years.

First entry: December 26, 1998
- the sloppy misspelled story of an 8 year old. My biggest passion was the backstreet boys, Little House on the Prairie and the color magenta.

Most recent entry: August 15th
- on a family vacation to Massachusetts. Worried about life, the future, if I'm happy, and why the hell I am worrying in the first place. I am smarter, stronger, traveling, buying college text books, and discovering who I want to be!

You could easily read my journals cover to cover. At the beginning of each journal it states something like, "Continued from Black bound journal( dated: February 19, 2008- July 17th 2008)"
It's easy, if you have them right in front of you, as I do now. It's so interesting to look back and read what stupid drama was in my life, what my worries were and the horrible things I said about my friends and myself for that matter. I'm so glad that I have become much less judgmental and snooty about other people over the years, I wish I could say the same about being self-critical. But hey, we're all constantly under construction, right?

In a way I view my journal as a rough draft of my blog, minus the really personal details. I try to write every night- Laying in bed, most likely tuned into my "@sleep" playlist (Whats playing parallel to my racing mind? I like to throw some Joshua Radin, Pricilla Ahn, Weepies and Joseph Arthur in the mix.) In my journal I just kinda let my pen do the work. I rarely use punctuation, correct spelling, full sentences, and very few of them you can read unless you know my penmanship as well as I do. And let me tell you, I can barely read the majority of my entries, so I highly doubt you'd be able to decipher my blazin' ink.

Everyone always say it's important to write in my journal so that the people that descend from me will be able to know me and read about my experiences. Pshhh..... yeah right- I love my journals but I don't think they will be featured in a history museum one day! ha. However, it's this thought that often gets me going! I honestly don't remember the last time I mentioned politics, the war, or any of the significant events that will be printed in my grand-daughters history curriculum down the road. I really should, but in my journal- it's more lists, goals, drawings, report cards, little thank you and sorry notes from my 3 sisters, stupid stories, top 5 lists of my crushes at the time, family vacations, amazing restaurants, and stupid quotes from my buddies and I. When people read my journal (in who knows how many years) they won't be reading about the war, a black president, the recession, the history of our nation and how far it has come. They will be reading about me, and the history of things I accomplished, talked about and the amazing people who befriended me, and who I loved back. I think that's pretty museum worthy, don't you?